Cynical

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2011-02-08T01:21:00.001-08:00

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Moving on to the New Site!

2005-02-13T22:11:00.000-08:00

I'm moving! at last rajasa.com is a real site! not a frame linking to here :P anyway come on and see my new one at rajasa.com. I'm changing my image here..

Btw di site baru masih blon banyak si, cuman karena pengen upload foto wisudaan aja jadinya gw upload duluan

Sumthin to Adjust

2005-02-12T12:32:00.000-08:00

"L'amour n'est pas parce que mais malgre"...

Cinta itu bukan "karena", tetapi "walaupun"

I love u no matter what..... not I love u because.....

~hmph.. mada mada dane..

Oh no...

2005-02-11T21:22:00.000-08:00

Semuanya jadi pink! bahkan friendster jadi pink! I hate pink! Apa gw ganti saja ni blog jadi pink ya!! wakakakkakakakaaka.. sehabis merah, datanglah pink!

phew +menenangkan diri+

Anyway, kok tidak ada yang merayakan tahun baru Islam si? Bikin resolusi buat tahun depan supaya gak banyak2in dosa getoo :P Oh iya, buat yang ngerayain

Gong Xi Fa Cai, Xin Nian Quai Le, Man Se Ru I

dan juga

Selamat Tahun Baru Hijriah!

Semoga tahun depan bisa lebih menahan diri, dan menjadi orang yang lebih baik dimata Allah SWT. AMIEEENNN!

More on Jettohollic

2005-02-08T07:46:00.000-08:00

Hm.. been checking on the statistic counter that I put on jettohollic.com and in the end of day 3, the stat reach 300 hits a day. And it haven't been a week but it's already reaching 1500 in total, nice for a start, guess they do have their own fan base or something.

And it's pretty stable, with about 50 unique visitors daily. Maybe we should put commercials and sell stuffs with it :D huekekekekkekee. But then again because I'm too busy developing this site I haven't had time to make rajasa.com into a real portfolio website :( well, hope I could free-up some time to make it today :D at least up-and-running eventhough it's only html :D

Unimportant stuffs

Gw ke pensi! masih jaman yak.. gile disitu berasa tua banget. Jadi gw ke HSK 34 buat nonton ndut yang ternyata manggung siang. Beh, meleleh de gw, puanasss euy. Untungnya cuman bentar, trus abis itu ngadem aja de, bodo amat ma yang manggung laennya :P Still experimenting with my digicam though. Guess I'm just a lousy photographer :P

A Smile's Worth

2005-02-02T20:56:00.000-08:00

"You smile a lot recently"

It is because of you..

Bleh.. haven't had the mood to write.. so I guess I'll keep it short

Anyway, been quite a free week. Don't really have nothing to do so I sleep a lot! I mean really a LOT!! I sleep at 11 and wakes up at 1 :P Been working on Jetto website though, just doing a favor to my friends' band.

Oh yeah, the address is here. It doesn't seem to work now because of DNS problem (it took more than a day to spread the domain name to the whole internet world I guess :() so the temporary link is here. Kinda hard to remember (well it's temporary anyway :P). Please comment me on the design :D

Sarken, or what's left of it
my kost seems to be tearing apart :( well not literally, but many of my friends are going away. Some because of work, getting married, or better off at home. As for my house (my kost is a house), well my housemates and I can't extend the contract anymore because the owner wants to renovate the house.. so bye bye sarken i guess :(

Cashflow 101

2005-02-01T15:35:00.000-08:00

Last weekend was such a so so day coz I'm too busy to go anywhere, so I played Cashflow 101, a board game that teach you a little about how cash, well.. flows in the world. It's sort of like monopoly but with 2 circle of life, one circle is a rat race representing the world of working people where they must work to earn money and another circle is the fast track where they earn money from assets, not by working.

The concept itself is such a snapshot in life (but simplified), we spend 5 days a week working and with so little time still finding the opportunity to leave the rat race and straight to the fast track.

It's a great way to educate youngster about economy, financial and cashflows. It open my eyes on things and stuffs, about mortgage, down payments and stocks, well it pretty much explain things in a simplified way.

Taping in all up

2005-01-28T15:11:00.000-08:00

Call me menye, call me stupid, prideless or whatever.. I love her, and guess what?

She still loves me :D

The Worst Day of This Semester

2005-01-27T17:02:00.000-08:00

...until Mrs. Betty come to the rescue!!! huehehe, and I thought that Indonesia weren't going to participate in this year Imagine Cup. And so when I got out of my Student Project room (yup, still here, downloading some stuffs :P) being pissed out of everything, she came and make my day! :D She gave me the contact number and told me that it will be held in May, long way to go but the preparation starts as early as last month :) and she's available to be my supervisor!!! :D

So glad to hear that..

Anyway, why am I pissed off today? well, actually it's one thing leads to another. First of all, I broke up with ojo. Congratulation to all of her fans, she's available.. then suddenly I just found out that my supposely-A Student Project score are...... A-, so pissed of by the new minus system, it could really make a difference to my GPA, sigh. It doesn't really matter though.. the break-up was enough..

But o well, life goes on. Still gotta catch up to my internship report (which will be printed tonight, HORRAYYY!!), gotta arrange another internship at Coca-Cola, gotta finish up Lomba Cipta Elektronika Nasional participation proposal for Februari 11th, not to mention Imagine Cup participation proposal and permissions and more stuffs that'll be needed(HORRAYYY!!), filling up another IRS for the next semester (although I'll only be taking internship), and excetera excetera excetera

Ow well, wish me luck on things.. really need it.. badly :P

Declaration of inde-FAT-dence

2005-01-18T18:18:00.000-08:00

~nuff said

Nomor baru nih

2005-01-17T22:36:00.000-08:00

Akhirnya setelah beberapa bulan berkutat2 dengan matrix dan service center-nya yang not so servicing, serta sinyalnya yang cupu berat akhirnya gw ganti ke XL Xplor. Abis ngeliat tarifnya yang paling murah dari semua, jadi tergoda abis :P anyway, It's 0818795986. Catet yaks :) Mudah2an dirumah gw udah gak kesulitan sinyal lagi, gak usah naek ke lantai dua kalo mo sms :P

Btw, sidang SP gw akhirnya dapet A juga. Hooray!

~senangnya

And the Result was?

2005-01-14T00:53:00.000-08:00

and A... With the condition that I'm doing his revision of the project.

(lagi males pake bahasa inggris)

Jadi ceritanya gini ni neng/bang, sidangnya tu berjalan suangat lancar, even more than I've expected. Semua pertanyaan yang disimulasikan keluar dengan gantengnya, dan jawaban mengalir dengan indahnya.. It was all fine..

Sidangnya juga berlangsung hanya setengah dari waktu yang seharusnya, it only lasted for about an hour. It was great, everybody greet us after that (before the final score being pronounced), I'm happy, my friends happy, we're all happy..

And then it struck, Mr. Petrus ask us to come inside to tell us about our score. And it turns out to be a B.. It struck me high, it really is. From all I've gone through, I deserved an A. He said that we didn't went as what he had expected..

Later on he offered us a challenge in competing an A. As long as we "revise" our project to what he expected before 18th of January, we deserved an A. And the challenge would be: Making 3 new functions to the ALU component and a complete port(as in change) of the linux application to windows.

Oh well.. today i finished my share of the bargain, which is making the 3 new function (shift left, shift right, and rotate left) for the ALU. And my partner has done a good job at porting the application to Java. So the deed is done, and now I can only wait for his decision

Will we make it?

Tune up for the next episode of the melodramatic scene of life which is so happen to be mine.

~sigh
~surprise2x

Menanti Hari Esok

2005-01-11T22:09:00.000-08:00

Besok saya sidang Student Project, jam 15.00. Pengujinya Pak Petrus Mursanto, Pak Jonny Moningka dan Pak Adhi Yuniarto. Topiknya:

Perancangan Awal Alat Bantu Simulasi Mikroprosesor

hm.. doa'in gw ya semuanya!!! :D

~brr..tegangEuy..

Graduation!!

2005-01-07T08:27:00.000-08:00

An unimportant dialog in an unimportant place:

A: Finished your student project?
B: Alhamdulillah, barely :D
A: Btw, what's your topic anyway?
B: ow.. you know, Monitoring implementation on 16-bit Microprocessor designed with VHDL on XILINX XC4010XL Board using Java
A: Mikro? Board? What the hell is VHDL?
B: VHSIC Hardware Description Language
A: VHSIC?
B: Very High Speed Integrated Circuit?
A: What?
B: Nevermind....

And it happens everytime..

Anyway, been finish it up yesterday and it's done! Now I'm just praying that there aren't any major revision being dealt to my reports, cuz I gotta finish at 10 January, which is next monday.

By the way, there are certain topics that are considered taboo these days. Considering some of my friends are graduating and some are not :P The topics that are listed are as follow

1. Never talk about graduating to someone who aren't
2. Never mention the words Cum Laude to someone whose GPA are 3,49
3. Never ask how to make an application letter to someone who aren't graduating
4. Never mention the word PW to the graduating jomblos
5. And the last.. don't remind the ones graduating about anum... :P

Be sure to read it through before any keyboard get stuck on your mouth..

Here is an example:
A: Hey i heard ur gradua..?
B:
A: hmhkhhmhmhpsd..sdmgsdasdmasd!!!
B: Shut up..

Moreover, here are the list of newly S. Koms from Faculty of Computer Science, University of Indonesia:

1. Dedi Supriadi
2. Kadek Wisnu Arsadhi
3. Rahmat Azhari
4. Fajar Kusuma
5. Hardi Kusuma
6. Herry Tanuwijawa
7. Annissa Utami
8. Anggraini Widjanarti
9. Ripta Ramelan
10. Eko Seno
11. Widiana Purwanti
12. Herika Haruyani
13. Rifka Liputo
14. Dennita
15. Andreas Albert
16. Handy Umar
17. Yohanna
18. Liza
19. Lisa
20. Renny Octavia
21. R. Ayu P
22. Fajar Rizqi
23. Viona S.
24. Maria Gracia Deita

This is not official yet and i don't think that it's all of it. These are the ones that i know, since it's kind of taboo to ask wether your graduating or not (remember the list?). So congratulation to all of you!! I'll be joining you all next semester :D

Btw, if any names aren't enlisted or someone's ain't graduating but still listed, do tell :D PM will do..

Subhanallah

2005-01-04T20:00:00.000-08:00

Dari detik.com

Happy New Year!

2005-01-01T20:42:00.000-08:00

First January already.. eventhough it ended with a tragic incident, times goes on as it is.

2004 have been a year of achievements for me, i won the Coca-cola website design contest, got my GPA on the track again, got another girlfriend and still getting along fine with my ex, got so many projects (so much that it overwhelmed me :P) to cover up my ever-expanding expense (yup, being so extremely generous to myself at 2004), got my love at first site (no, it's my k700i if ur wondering x)), and still trying to be a better friend to all of you.

I know I've been a jackass these past years, still trying to change that. That is why in 2005, my first resolution is to care more about others and be sensitive for a change, live a better life with the guys and gals, listen to other people more than talking about stupid rubish of myself, loose enough ego level, and love my life and to never disapooint myself moreover disappoint ndut.

And the last but not least, I hope to graduate this year. Some time aroung june maybe :D wish me luck guys. Hope my last semester here'll be as much as I'm expecting :D

Happy New Year of 2005 to all of you!!!

My Condolences

2004-12-30T02:12:00.000-08:00

Indonesian Help
International Help

And the Number Goes to 7

2004-12-29T21:46:00.000-08:00

Adobe Acrobat 7 Is Out!

To those of you that lack of patience when opening a pdf document, then rejoice! adobe acrobat reader 7 is here.

It took only about a second to load a pdf document in my PC (HP Pavillion a426d). Anyway, thank God they're having a speed boost on this, I don't know how I could hold up to the load time 'till now.

Mozilla Goes White No More
More over, been wondering why my mozilla crashes everytime I open a pdf document. Not that it crashed (a knowledge I gained recently), guess It's just so damn time consuming to load it completely, totally, utterly... Okay, I'm just too lazy to wait for it... Well thx to the new version, it's fine :D

Talking about Mozilla, been tuning it for a while. But then again since I don't even know a way to benchmark it :( guess I'll never know wether I'm doing the right thing or not :P Don't know what I'm talking about? read here

Another series goes 7
And you know what else turns 7? 3D Studio Max! haven't tested the ware so can't comment on this, well haven't had the time to do so anyway :P

Movies, Comics, and..
other things that I haven't had the time to enjoy. Wimbledon, Sky Captain, 100 Days With Mr. Arrogant, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles.. and more!

Guess It's time for me to buy a new hard drive to fit it all in one place :D Hm.. 120 GB will do just fine, anybody wanna go to Mangga Dua?

And the Bali Trip
Me, the guys and gals of '01 are planning on having a trip to Bali at 24-28 Januari to celebrate on our graduation (well, not really.. some of the guys aren't graduating :P). But due to the weather and certain condition, I don't think that it would go as plan. It's rather dangerous to go now after the earthquake incident, so I guess we'd better cancel it before it's to late.

It's a tragic incident.. and nobody to blame for.

And the exam
Still have a Computer and Society lecture take-home exam to do, so lazy to do, so lazy to write, why can't we just take the test orally so I don't have to write an excessive amount of tiring-and-crammed-making-idealistic-surreal-4-page-of-folio writing..

~emangGwAjaYangMales:P
~BorosBorosBoros...

Procrastination

2004-12-29T13:21:00.000-08:00

pro·cras·ti·nate
v. pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing, pro·cras·ti·nates
v. intr.

To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

v. tr.

To postpone or delay needlessly.

taken from dictionary.com

~sedang...
~penundaanDesainRajasa.com
~penundaanDesainCareertips
~penundaanDesainMaskotIndomart
~penundaanRevisiLaporanKP
~padahalGakAdaKerjaan..
~heran...

Daily Babble
Baru selesai baca Subject:Re dan keren banget!! she really knows how to spell misery" :P Anyway, itu kayaknya sindrom pengejar karir banget gak si? Udah berasa have it all dan bosen terhadap segala sesuatu yang datang dalam kehidupan. Gw si sekarang ngerasanya bener2 kayak gitu. It's kinda hard not to these days, bukannya gak bisa seneng2 ato gimana tapi ya, bosen aja.

Mungkin gw perlu selingkuh kali ya.. :P

~dudidam

Just another quote

2004-12-28T07:18:00.000-08:00

"Gw bosen dianggap pinter dan diharapkan. People expect too much from me. Everything I write, everything I do are supposed to be great. This is MY brain, it's up to me what I'll do with it. It's up to me what I'd like to think about. Gue gak harus dong selalu punya pengamatan tajam pada kehidupan sosial. Gue boleh dong nggak peduli mode. Gue boleh dong mikirin satanisme, suicide, Britney Spears, atau bulu anjing gue yang rontok. Who said those things don't matter? who said those things matter? Does it matter if my thoughts matter or not?

Terus harusnya gue gak peduli aja ama semuanya, kan? Tapi nggak juga. Gue tetep aja menyandang gelar fashion editor majalah Blasts. Gue diem aja dikira pinter. Gue deg-degan juga apakah tulisan atau pemotretan gue bagus apa nggak. Padahal katanya kan gue nggak peduli. What a hypocrite!"

Taken from Subject:Re: by Novita Estiti page 48

Gue suka banget ama ni orang :p Sometimes, people just expect to much from someone who never expected it. Resulting the lost of confidence, depression, life? Is it ego? or is it human?

It's life at it is..

But then again that's the risk of being on top. Once there, you're not allowed to go anywhere down. By whom? you know who..

~NuffSaid..

Are you?

2004-12-27T05:04:00.000-08:00

A friend of mind get confused on "Is he the one?" thing, the question that everyone keep asking to themself. Maybe if she asked me about it last year, then i wouldn't have a word for it. But now it's rather different, maybe..

How can you know that he/she would be the one? how can you decide? How can you differ them from anyone else? Well you don't! You just know. It's not because she's the most beautiful girl in the world, nor because she's smarter that me, it's not because she is the funniest of all, nor because she's the one that everybody likes.

It's because she's the one.. how can you tell? I don't know, i just knew..

But who am I to tell, maybe it's just my justification on things, maybe it's
just a temporary feelings, or a simple deep craving for love. Hell, maybe it's fake, maybe in ain't real, but if it is.. Then it's the most beautiful inreality that i ever have.

Another gmail invitation

2004-12-22T03:07:00.000-08:00

Dikasih invitation lagi ni ma gmail, dapet 4.. ada yang mau? kalo mau email ato comment disini aja, ntar gw kirimin :D

~busybusybusy

busy bashi...

2004-12-14T04:54:00.000-08:00

Bleh.. sibuk banget.. gak sempet ngapa2in... mosting aja susah...

Career-tips on the blog

2004-12-09T22:20:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine nita made it to help people whose been asking her about this over and over, well her job as a head hunter oblige her to do so. Anyway, there are nice tips there that could be useful..

And why am i promoting it? because i'm one of the columnist there :D (ciaelah, kolumnis :P). I haven't post anything there yet so all of the posts there is nita's writing, and i hope i could find some time to get it together and post something of use there :D

here's one of the tips that i find most interesting :D but then again, it doesn't really work stress-a-holic guy like me xp

How to Avoid Stress at Work

Remember and note things that make you stress

Relax
Spare sometimes to hang out, relaxing. Even if it was only for a cup of coffee at nearby coffee shop. Don’t put your mind only at work for too long. You’re not working to end up at mental hospital, are you?

Enough rest and consistent with the schedule
Lunch time, leave your desk, leave of loads of paper works. Go out, HAVE LUNCH, have fun a little. Even if it was only for an hour. And be consistent with the timing. Or you’ll ruin your body.

Build a mutual social relation with your fellow employee

Make a to do list daily
So that you can work much more efficiently and better yet…know what to do.

Prepare yourself for failure, mistakes, and frustrations

Be friend to yourself
There’s nothing wrong being a little narcist… as long as you can keep away from stress, and makes you do your job well.

Never look back with regrets
Look back, and learn from the lesson. Don’t cry over it or feel guilty about it. Make your bad experience I the past as a reminder of not doing the same mistake again.

Hold your head up high
When come face to face with problem, hold your head up high. Believe in yourself, that whatever the problem is, you can solve it.

Create extra energy supply
By working out, exercise you will have extra energy to maintain your body and mind. Been there!

Temper….temper….
Mind your blood pressure! Watch your tempered. Stay cold headed in any circumstances.

Hard to do? Hey…it’s just an idea :)

Iseng2 Dengan Digicam

2004-12-09T07:13:00.000-08:00

Been fooling around with my digicam and decided to learn a LOT more to photography. Haven't had much interest before because it's rather expensive, but since i own a camera, i might as well abuse anyway :P

By the way, i just got this software called PanaVue ImageAssembler, a recommendation from adh3. "The best photo-stitching program i ever lay a hands" he said. So I guess there's no harm on trying..

And what do you know, it /is/ nice.. my fave feature is the 360 degree effect that we can make with the help of quicktime plug-ins in the browser, courtesy of Apple that is. You can see for yourself an example i made from the photos at my campus's library, I've degraded the quality for the sake of the space taken but hey, it's still preety good. You can download the plug-ins if you can't see it.

BOOK PROMO!!!

2004-12-07T09:13:00.000-08:00

**ON SALE**

the 2 comments below is taken from: http://an.dinnaolivia.com/promo/promogege.html and "Always, Laila" comments are taken directly from the book (baru beli :D)

Gege Mengejar Cinta

Adhitya Mulya, the writer of bestseller novel "Jomblo – Sebuah Komedi Cinta" is back. Generasi baru penulis novel komedi cinta ini hadir dengan buku terbarunya, Gege Mengejar Cinta.

"Mana yang seseorang akan pilih? Mereka yang dicintai? Atau mereka yang mencintainya? Ini adalah sebuah pertanyaan penting yang entah kenapa orang tidak pernah cukup peduli untuk kaji dan tanyakan pada diri sendiri. Buku ini bercerita tentang Gege. Pria yang akhirnya dihadapkan dengan pertanyaan itu."

Masih dengan gayanya khas, Adhitya akan mengajak kita menelusuri kisah romantis penuh komedi.

Simak kata Jose Purnomo, Produser dan Sutradara Film tentang buku ini :

"...saya mendapatkan novel ini benar-benar berbeda. Ide-idenya mengalir unprecedented dan menghanyutkan, suatu originalitas yang sulit didapatkan hari ini. Saya suka pendekatannya terhadap klimaks yang chaotic seperti fireworks in the fairground. Beginilah penulis muda seharusnya, smart, playful, dan explosive."

GEGE MENGEJAR CINTA, kini sudah hadir di toko - toko buku di sekitar kamu. jadi tunggu apalagi.

Kok Putusin Gue

Buku yang dikomentari oleh Udjo Project Pop sebagai "Ni buku daftar isinya aja menarik banget"

What? Buku apakah ini? Well, tinggalkan dulu chicklit yang menggoda itu. saatnya untuk sebuah buku - apalagi kalo kamu cewek - tentang girl power.

"Totally cute! An absolute girlpower-kind-of-book!," begitu Sarah Sechan berseru.

But wait,there's more than just girlpower...

"Buku ini berhasil mengembalikan kepercayaan gue terhadap hubungan wanita dan pria yang ideal"
Enda Nasution- Shortlist HOTTEST Creative Person seAsia 2002/2003

hmmm...
apalagi? yakinkan kamu mengikuti kisah menarik buku ini dimana didalamnya terdapat strategi perang Sun Tzu hingga resep Tiramisu yang dapat mengalir begitu menyatu dengan kisah cinta yang tak kalah menariknya.

Always Laila

"Penulis ini mengukir bahasanya dengan cara yang berbeda dari penulis debutan lain. Hasilnya adalah sebuah karya yang puitis dan idealis, setidaknya dari standar saya. Selamat Andi, atas debutnya."
-Adhitya Mulya (Penulis Jomblo)-

"Perempuan menulis dengan 'jiwa'. Laki-laki menulis dengan 'apa adanya'. Maka yang terjadi adalah cerita dari dua sisi yang dilihat dengan 'rasa'. Karena jika dengan mata maka ada banyak sisi yang tak tertangkap."
-Anjar (Penulis 'Beraja', 'Kidung')-

"Novel yang membuat kita sadar pentingnya untuk selalu berkata dan berbuat cinta kepada orang yang kita cintai, seperti tidak akan ada lagi hari esok yang menjelang."
-Annisa Larasati (Model, Presenter)

"Always, Laila mengingatkan saya tentang 'soulmate', bahwa mungkin memang ada seseorang yang selalu menjadi 'our half' dan tentang arti kata ALWAYS pada seseorang yang kita cintai - through times."
-Icha Rahmanti (Penulis Cintapuccino-Chicklit Buatan Indonesia Asli)

That's all folks
Iseng2 promo ah, itung2 bantuin temen :D

Japan Rock Festival Ver 1

2004-12-06T23:40:00.000-08:00

It's hot, it's crowded and on limited space.. The sound's just bad. But hey, I had fun :D I went there at 4 o'clock and i dunno who's playing at that time and don't really care, I just wanna watch Jetto, Banzai, and Zeal :D

Anyway, I get to see Banzai playing, and they are sooo awesome!! Man, the vocal was overwhelming and the bassist was just so cool, didn't get to see their first song coz I’m outside getting some air. Their second song is endless rain and the third is Siam Shade's Never End, their playing Siam Shade in honor to their additional guitarist from Kirie. 2 more words to describe it: AWE SOME!!! :P (gak puas dengan 1 kata doang soalnya XD)

I skip Lastifer because I'm busy getting in and out looking for enough signal to call ojo on her whereabouts, hey I did come for her sake so why bother being there without her :P

After she and the Band (Jetto) arrived, they immediately pack things up making me an additional crew to carry things inside. They're kinda late so they need all the help they can get. Anyway, the band played without Malik and substitute him with Praba, he's great, but i think i prefer Malik's vocal..

After that I watch Zeal from afar because ojo's kinda tired after the show and decided to take a rest for a while, and the rest goes on till wasabi is over and ends the show :P well, can't blame her for being fatigue after a show..

And now you know why i said It's hot, it's crowded and on limited space...

More photos at my yahoo photos if you wanna see more pics from my digicam. Nothing much though because it's my first time with it, so i tend to experiment and delete most of the ugly pics :P Anyway, got 2 mini clips but it's 30 megs each so I guess I won't be putting those on the internet.

~enjoy
~duh, ngantuk.. jadi agak2 males nulis review xp

Me and my work

2004-12-03T21:29:00.000-08:00

11:48 - Puri Imperium Kuningan

saya: Yang, tebak gw lagi dimana?
ndut: Jangan bilang lo dikantor..
saya: Gak kok, lagi dikuningan
ndut: Ngapain?
saya: Baru dari tempat client :-D
ndut:...

what i would do for work...

2004-12-02T08:05:00.000-08:00

Btw gw ganti alamat jadi rajasa.com.. isinya si sama aja :D

Another collection of the narcistic gadget

2004-12-02T07:54:00.000-08:00

Akhirnya gw beli digicam!!! huehehe my long awaited gadget have finally been revealed! it's Canon Ixus IIs, well i know it's not a brand new model (coz i can't afford it) but hey, 3,2 megapixel with 2x optical zoom is good enough for me. Sekarang gw bisa bernarcis2 ria dengan kualitas lebih baik! :p

No really.. gw butuh buat nambahin pic art gw yang minim dan bule-centered banget si. Suka bingung kalo lagi bikin desain ato situs indo trus yang ada malah gambar bule2 ato paling deket bule brambut coklat :P sampe skrng si msh ada yang Chinese tapi itu juga dikit banget... dan gw mikirnya mendingan gw foto temen2 gw sendiri buat art work gw, makanya butuh banget digicam :D

the journey of dare u dare u

2004-11-30T19:40:00.000-08:00

What an obscure title if i may say :P well, i've been busy these 2 months.. and the stress is accumulating (with the euphoria tangling on :D) so much and been bending my mind all over..

Like yesterday for example, i was up all nite studying on the topic of my seminar for making the presentation with my group today and also (in parallel) doing my Student Project which is (why i don't know choose) the monitoring of 16-Bit RISC microprocessor, really.. how in the hell could i get stuck with THAT. Maybe coz i've been curious about it for a very long time yet haven't had time to take a thorough investigation of it :D

I was up till 4 in the morning and it felt like a freezer here in campus (and yeah, i have my own "room" in campus where i currently "stay" - ngekos :P) so i'm using a jacket bought from arab AND a fluffy and thick blanket. Thank God we have them :)

And today i gotta wake up at 7 for a lecture at 8 and after that i gotta do a wrap-up on my Student Project's presentation for 14:00 hours and at 11 I gotta go to my office at Lenteng for progress report and /more work/, at 13:00 i gotta get back to campus to prepare the room and computer for the presentation, then at 15:00 gotta make the summary of the last Seminar and the presentation for tomorrow's..

As for the nite, i'm stuck at designing my new portfolio website that will be placed at rajasa.com, and continuing my everlasting Student Project, looking for ideas for Imagine, doing homeworks... I even wonder how i can get the time to even write this??

~i need some sleep...

akhirnya TAMAT JUGA!!!

2004-11-30T06:41:00.000-08:00

Congratulation

Thanks to you the conflict between fish and evil has ended

Now the aquarium will regain it's peace

and the owner can sleep at ease at night

~bwahahahaha

btw:itu creditsnya abis namatin insaniquarium :P

sial, masih ada 4 pet yang blm gue dapet :(

Coba coba pake wbloggar

2004-11-30T03:42:00.000-08:00

Lagi ngetes2 pake wbloggar, lucu juga ni aplikasi. Jadi bisa ngepost langsung dari kompie sendiri :) senangnya jadi gak perlu login, trus ngisi sana. Paling kerasa kalo internet lagi lambretta de la beng beng dan buat login aja udah males banget x(

anyway, kmaren kenalan ma someone yang ngasih promo buat domain baru. Murah si, dia ngasi 50 mb + domain pertahun jadinya gue ambil. Check out rajasa.com tapi jangan heran kalo gak kemana2.. soalnya cuman ngeredirect kesini :P blm sempet ngisi apa2 si, lagi banyak banget kerjaan. Ntar si rencananya mo dibuat situs portfolio dan buat keperluan bernarcis2 ria (hohohoho). Udah lama banget pengen bikin, tapi kelewat sibuk (pacaran kan sangat menyita waktu! f^ ^).

Anyway, gw lagi tergila2 maen insaneiquarium bikinan popcard games. Gila tu game bikin adiktif banget, dan ikan2nya lucu sekali :D gw juga ngeliat orang maen agak2 males gitu cuma lama2 asik juga, hehehehe malah jadi maen itu 3 jam lebih dan SP (Student Project) pun tertinggal.. maap ya amir dan deta :P that game is about keeping your fish feed and healthy while guarding them from vicious aliens, in return they (the fishes) will give you money depending on their species. But you're not alone, you can get help from your pets that you get through out the game :D hm.. setelah gue baca tulisan sendiri kok janggal banget ya ni game :P bleh, yang penting seru!

go go my fish go!!!

~hehehe

2004-11-28T01:18:00.000-08:00

bleh.. kok tiba2 ada invitation segede gaban gitu. males banget de ah, mana gak bilang2 lagi (apa dia bilang tapi gue aja yang gak baca ya :P) anyway, udah gue delete soalnya gede banget :P and yes.. i join hi5 soalnya diinvite orang, dan gue maen pencet2 aja tiba2 dia ngirim invitation ke semua orang di address book gw. Jadi bagi yang gak pengen itu gue minta maap yak.. kebiasaan ni maen pencet next2 aja :D

2004-11-27T06:24:00.000-08:00

sometimes... life could be a pain in the ass..

~bleh

3,5 or 4...

2004-11-24T01:40:00.000-08:00

Lulus, enggak, lulus, enggak.. duh, tough choice here. Lagi mempertimbangkan bakal lulus sekarang ato semester depan aja mengingat gue masih blm ngapa2in disini membuat gue enggan bwat cabut.

Pertama, gue pengen banget ikut IMAGINE 2005, dan untuk ikut harus mahasiswa pada bulan februari tahun depan, dimana kalo gue lulus sekarang ya.. udah wisuda dong. Dan mengingat tim yang terlibat tu outstanding people (diberitahu kemudian yak, blm pasti soalnya :P) semua jadinya gue semangat banget buat ikut (cayo!) :D tapi toh ya kalopun gak lolos, itu bakal jadi pengalaman yang baik dan aplikasinya bisa gue jual juga toh x)

Kedua, gue masih pengen magang di coca-cola yang gue dapet waktu menangin lomba coca-cola web design competition 2004 kmaren. Dan kalo udah lulus ya bukan magang dong namanya. Dan sepertinya gak boleh juga si kalo udah gak mahasiswa lagi. Really gotta check on this.. musti telpon Mas Pinto cepet2

Ketiga, masih mo ngurusin ristek (Riset dan Teknologi, organisasi kampus yang gue ikut) juga si. Apalagi pake acara gue didepak dari departemen Network and Operating System ke manajemen Computer Art. Maybe i do belong there, abis gak ada yang percaya gini gue bilang kalo gue anak Netos.. bleh. dan dedikasi gue di ristek masih kurang banget mengingat gue udah dikasih kesempatan buat jadi admin for about 1 year or so dan dapet kesempatan buat grepe2 server2 kampus :D

Keempat, gue masih gak tau juga mo kerja dimana. Koneksi juga blm bisa bawa kemana juga, jadinya kalopun lulus masih gak tau mo kmana dan gue paling gak suka kejelasan kayak gini. Pengennya si (naively speaking) udah dapet ato setidaknya ditawarin kerja sebelum lulus, dan sampe sekarang masih blm dapet yang prospeknya menjanjikan. Dan coca-cola terlihat sangat menjanjikan (tak bermaksud promosi kok :P)

Kelima, it's not like 4 years tu udah lewat waktu buat gue. Maksudnya kan emang normalnya 4 tahun. And i know this would sound cheesy tapi gue kangen banget ma angkatan 2001 tercinta, dan kampus juga (apalagi internet gratisnya :D). Masih pengen ngoprek2 ma anak2, jalan2, suka duka and all. Dan juga males jadi jauh with the significant others, and for one special person.. i know that the time /will/ come, cuman kan bisa gak sekarang.

Keenem, kontrak buat kosan gue di depok masih sampe oktober tahun depan jadinya rugi 6 bulan lah gue kalo lulus semester ini. Sayang duitnya.. bisa aja si gue sewain ke orang cuman ngurusnya males, and i'm a sucker for friends asking for help.. ujung2nya paling gue gak mau dibayar. Bleh..

Ketujuh, Laporan KaPe gue blm tentu selesai diperiksa ma bapak pembimbing tercinta(Bleh!) pas deadlinenya, which is 30 November 2004.

Dan kalo misalkan lulus 3,5 tahun gue bakal... terpuaskan ego lulus cepet dan nyenengin orang tua lebih awal... do'! any more ideas on this?

Hadoh! So?

ya udah, konfirmasi ke Mas Pinto soal magang, siap2 buat Imagine, dan ngedrop KaPe tersayang.. i think i'll be stayin :D (dan ada yang seneng kayaknya jadi gak usah reschedule ama gak usah keluar dari kornel :P)

Google Scholar
Gue dikasi tau hendra soal ini dan menurut gue si menarik sekali, try this one:
http://scholar.google.com

setelah google group, trus google sms, trus google desktop ada ini :)

jadi dia kalo gak salah si nyari paper2 yang berhubungan dengan keyword. Now would that makes things easier buat nyari source of reference buat bikin karya ilmiah? coba waktu gue kuliah Ilmu Lingkungan ato Ilmu Sosial Dasar ato Penulisan Ilmiah ato Metodologi Penelitian itu udah ada, mungkin nilai gue bagusan :P

2004-11-19T00:20:00.000-08:00

bleh..kangen..

the decision to live...

2004-11-15T23:36:00.000-08:00

Today i went to my old relatives grave, It's an annual tradition, usually after Ied.. it always gives me the creeps whenever i go there. Not in the scary kinda way, but more on the psychological point-of-view. Because to me, that tradition is a reminder. That no matter who you are, whatever you do.. you'll eventually die..

~fuih...
~berat..

the what-if game

2004-11-14T23:26:00.000-08:00

If there's this altered reality where i was born tad rich and everything that i want just come at me at will and spending 600 million every month was never a problem to me.. would i be who i am today?

Probably not, if everything i want is being served then what use is there to struggle for it. I have so many friends that are /that/ rich as in really that they loose interest in living a great live from their own effort terlepas dari pengaruh bonyok mereka. Most of them just waste their parents' money without even feeling sorry for it. Ada yang D.O. mulu dan pindah2 kuliah dari satu negara ke negara laen cuman karena dia anggep "gak asik!" dan sampe sekarang blm lulus padahal dia lebih tua dari gue jauh.. beberapa yang laen kerjanya cuman ganti2 mobil mulu trus cari cewe tiap malem ditempat2 gak jelas. Another was a drug addict yang kalo udah mulai bosen tinggal cuci darah to make the pleasure point drop off again, why? ya mereka punya duit.. Maybe people despise them.. jealousy is human.. but the thought that's been bothering me is that if i were in their shoes, would i not do the same? would i not be who they are..

I'll never know..

mohon maap lahir batin

2004-11-14T00:12:00.000-08:00

kalo ada yang salah ya mohon maap ya...

family matters

2004-11-13T23:25:00.000-08:00

I have this communication problem with my family, especially my parents where it's soooo hard to let loose those thoughts of them on me and expect me to know it already without them ever saying it. Well, the problem is.. i don't know. I'm not a mind reader so if you want me to do something then say it clearly! i'm a guy, so hints won't do.. xp cape aja ngebiarin mereka berpikir that i'm just a lazy ass potato couch. Lah, gue gak tau ada yang musti gue kerjain, gue mo bantu2 malah dibilangin "heran, mo bantuin" ato "tumben" dan diteruskan dengan komentar2 kayak "kok gini aja gak bisa si, makanya sering2 bantu" well hear this: if you need my help then say so! talking about it behind my back won't do... Daripada gue terus2an sakit hati, mending gw biarin de.. males banget dengerin komentar kayak gitu coming from the ones that's been living with you for all your live.

Salah gue juga si jarang dirumah, can't blame me for being busy and all. Gue cuman bisa balik kerumah 2 kali sebulan, itu juga kalo kerjaan gak ngedesek.. and with that kinda "homey" atmosphere.. makin males aja gue balik

Wanna go back to the days where your family /do/ really know you, and dinner would be a place to talk about each other and all.. this is pathetic.. gue nyesel that i don't spend time for them more on the past. Gue nyesel banget kalo sekarang tu susah banget kayaknya to really communicate with them. Gue nyesel to actually didn't care about these matters before..

screw... emang sesusah itu ya ngertiin gue?

~another problem in regards to miscommunication...
~bleh

What a lovely day

2004-11-10T19:14:00.000-08:00

what a lovely day! gile it started off dengan tidak masuk kuliah komas dan gue tau kalo ni hari bakalan... Jadi kemarennya gue nginep di ruang Student Project tercinta soalnya kompie gue disini dan males banget balik ke kosan yang panas dan tanpa kompie. Lagian gue musti ngerjain laporan KP dan tanpa kompie ya gak mungkin banget. Trus ending up jadi gak tidur semaleman, rencananya mo langsung aja dari sini langsung komas cuman mengingat bakal diskusi kayaknya gue butuh istirahat deh barang sejam. jadi jam setengah enem pagi gue balik bareng amir (yang juga nginep) trus tidur lah gue dikosan. Bukannya tidak dapat diduga tapi gue kebablasan.. ya gak juga si, gue bangun jam 8 kurang 10 dan udah panik berat soalnya kuliah mulai jam 8. Dan kenapa gue gak mau telat? karena ini Komas (sebenernya karena dosennya si :P). Anyway, jadinya alhasil gue gak mandi tapi maksa juga ke kampus mengingat toh entar abis komas gue juga langsung balik. Trus gue lupa bahwa harus pakai sepatu... dan gue tidak. So daripada balik gue mikirnya, ya udah gue pake sepatu gue yang di ruang SP aja toh gue tinggalin disitu. Ee pas nyampe kampus ternyata ruangannya dikunci oleh si kunyuk dan dibawa ke kelas mengakibatkan gue gak bisa masuk.. udah frustrated duluan jadinya gue males banget masuk... trus akhirnya ke ruang ristek dan tidur.

bangun2 jam 10, gak nyaman soalnya kasurnya dipake 3 orang. Jadinya gue baliklah ke kosan. Dan ternyata yayang gue balik jam 11 kurang.. jadinya gak ketemu seharian, yang membuat hari makin indah. Trus lagi gue ketiduran sampe jam setengah 1 membuat gue miss an appoinment ma supervisor Kerja Praktek gue padahal janji mo tanda tangan dokumen2 KP. Ya Su Lah, gue ke kampus aja de buat janji berikutnya yaitu ngurusin komputer buat Student Project gue, kurang kompie soalnya dan butuh minta. Trus jadinya gue dilempar2 administrasi gak jelas, bolak-balik naek-turun, angkut2 dan segalanya sampe akhirnya dapet: komputer Pentium II 233 MHz dan monitor 14" - -' duh colokan keyboardnya aja masih yang lama.. bikin ilfil banget dah ngeliatnya. Mana pake rusak lagi mousenya, dan sampe saat ini masih blm dapet gantinya soalnya orangnya gak ada lagi ditempat.. duh... f0_o'

Oh well, berlanjut dari situ dengan "Euphoria" gue akan keadaan, tiba2 dipanggil kekantor.. ya su toh sekalian jalan2 lah gue pikir. And off i go to my office at lenteng. Guess what? ditambahin kerjaan lagi.. mana ada coba proyek yang udah jalan lebih dari 70% trus tiba2 ganti desain ama layout gara2 ada satu oknum gak jelas dari anggota mereka yang menganggap itu gak menarik. Trus knapa GAK BILANG DARI 2 BULAN YANG LALU DODOL!! gue udah bolak-balik kesana pake desain yang sama, kok baru protes sekarang.. ARRRGGGHH!!! BLE'E BLEKOK SIA! nyebelin... rombak ulang sudah desainnya...

Indah banget ya hari gue...

~lalalalala

To Do:
-Laporan KP harus selesai minggu ini
-Student Project harus jelas minggu ini
-Tugas Komas buat jum'at
-Protoype E-Commerce buat tugas akhir kuliah
-Proyek puspiptek selesaiin secepatnya
-Proyek steering committee.. masih tunggu konfirmasi...

~untung lagi dikit ngambil proyek
~kalo enggak kapan lulusnya...

some nite at campus

2004-11-08T23:09:00.000-08:00

malem-malem sendirian di ruang SP, kedinginan padahal bawa jaket dan secara bodohnya gak dipake... sendirian, ditinggalin anggota sp yang laen.. nonton amadeus dengan perasaan berat soalnya banyak yang blm dikerjain.. nista...

~brr...

Meet the parents 2 - meet the relatives..

2004-11-08T01:55:00.000-08:00

duile.. makin aja yah gue :P jadi ceritanya gini.. setelah sekian lama (well.. about 2 bulan) akhirnya dapet waktu for a date (fuih.. finally) dan hari itu jatuh pada tanggal 6 Nov 2004 (yang setelah ini akan diingat sebagai hari kesaktian kencan pertama :P). so there i was, lagi nyantai aja dikos, bangun jam 11an soalnya sabtu gitu lo. Trus maen2 aja si gak jelas sembari nungguin rama soalnya gue hari itu juga mo taro kompie di kampus buat ngerjain Student Project gue, kayak tugas akhir gitu de, tapi berkelompok. Anyway, janjinya si siang jam 2 cuman dia ketiduran (yang bikin gue panik abis) trus baru bisa jam 3. Gue yang rencananya mo brangkat jam 3 ke PIM for my first date ya bingung lah mo gmana. Tapi ramskie bilang nebeng dia aja abis naro kompie di lab, toh dia dateng jam 3an so i thought that would be OK. Well, waktu berlalu dan gue nunggu dia sampe jam 4 masih blm dateng juga. Begitu gue telpon dianya masih di tanjung barat dan makin panik lah gue. Being late on the first date was never an option! dan waktu mo nanya kapan dia nyampe, hp dia abis batre.. what a bad time buat abis batre :( mulai dah harap2 cemas melanda.. dan akhirnya jam setengah 5 dia datang! gile, tenang dah hati gue waktu liat kijang masuk sarken dan berhenti didepan rumah gue. Mulailah kita pindah2 kompie (yang udah gue dismantle sekitar sejam yang lalu), dia dateng ama rei, jadinya lumayan buat bantu2 gotong2 kompie, thx rei! Moreover, dari kampus langsung cabut dah ke PIM, dan si ndut masih di tempat rully. Dan ternyata kejebak macet yang lumayan panjang (05.00 - dan ternyata si ndut masih mandi...) namun akhirnya nyampe jam 5.32. Telat 2 menit dari janji but o well.. E, ternyata si ndut malah yang telat. Ya su, gue nyari kado dulu de buat kakak gue. Dapet jam softbox warna-warni lucu si menurut gue. dan akhirnya dia datang jam 18.02 wearing a white shirt and jeans.. she's just that beautiful padahal sering banget liat dia pake tu baju. Dunno, maybe the event, maybe the mood.. maybe i need glasses :P So we went out for a meal at Saeke Sushi (bener ga ya? kinda forgot the name :P). Trus ngeliat adenya diluar ama sepupunya. Begitu ngomong ama sepupunya...

ndut : "kesini bareng siapa? sendiri?"
sepupunya : "enggak kok, kesini bareng ayah, bunda dan ini dan itu.."

yak.. mulai panik dah gue, i am really REALLY a freak commitment and things like this kinda make me jumpy. Ya udah, gue mikirnya balik ajalah before any awkward things happen, and guess what? dipintu keluar ketemu dengan sanak keluarga... kok bisa ya mereka semua +secara kebetulan+ ada disana, duh gak abis pikir dah. Akhirnya ya keliatan de gue... ending up silsilah keluarga gue dirunut ma bokapnya sampe gue sendiri gak tau waktu dia balik ke rumah. Dengan pembicaraan panjang lebar dimobil itu juga. Dan karena dia tinggalnya di PI jadinya (untungnya) gak lama dari PIM.. duh, pusing gue. But somehow gue ngerasa lega juga si, mereka jadi tau dan ya.. ya udah.

gue cape abis dari sono, ya langsung tidur si abis sholat.. males mikirin, toh besok juga udah gak berasa lagi :D i had a great time walaupun unplanned, gak jelas, pake acara telat and all.. but it's worth it :D

at home
Trus besoknya gue balik ke rumah de (which is today). Tapi paginya sempet kekampus dulu ngambil flash disk soalnya takut pengen ngerjain laporan KP dirumah, yang ternyata enggak jadi :P (kan yang penting niatnya :D). Trus balik jam 2an si kalo gak salah. Baru sadar kalo cucian 2 minggu tu berat banget :P anyway, sampe rumah cape banget trus tidur.

Dan jam buka puasa pun tiba, kami sekeluarga berkumpul. Gue si asik aja cerita2 ma kakak gue soal si ndut, toh nyokap gue gak ngerti juga (coz i'm speaking in codes :P) e ade gue dudul pake nyebut nama.. ya nyembur la gue! dudul, but then i found out kalo ternyata nyokap gue udah tau. Kemaren ternyata nyokap ama nyokapnya andin pergi naek kereta bareng (lupa kmana soalnya sibuk nyembur) dan bergosiplah mereka bedua.. nyokap agak2 syok si kayaknya.. cuman ya, gak bisa disembunyiin lama2 si mengingat jaringan keluarga gue ma dia agak2 (baca: banget) deket gitu.. ya su lah, now everybody knows.. dan terjadi lagi peristiwa dimana gue gak pernah cerita sedikit pun tapi semua keluarga gue tau.. susah dah!

~duh, gak bisa tidur ni..
~terserang kangen akut :P
~song of the day: The way you look at me - Christian Bautista

gak penting

2004-11-01T22:21:00.000-08:00

Laporan Kerja Praktek Ble'e.. Sumpah de gue males banget bikinnya. Baru 12 halaman dan gue udah males banget :P padahal itu aja kopipasteeee... duh, Such a long way to go. Kalo kelamaan takutnya gue dah lupa ma tu kerjaan. Dan emang sebenernya agak2 males ngingetnya xp

where are me?
still finding the me in myself...

~duh...

Logic VS Emotions

2004-10-28T23:31:00.000-07:00

guess who wins...

Meet the parents

2004-10-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

Ya gak segitunya juga si, maksudnya bukan acara resmi gitu.. ada acara buka puasa di tempat dia and i was invited. Gue pergi ma anak2 senat yang laen yang dijemput pulang-pergi, courtesy of the host (kurang baek apa lagi coba) and later on kita bantu2 beres2 meja, kursi dan tiker pas baliknya :D

And i was THAT nervous
Gile gue gugup berat mo ketemu nyokapnya.. sampe salting mulu, mudah2an gak nyadar si (berusaha menghibur diri :P). Tapi ya, Overall si asik2 aja :) i get to know more about her friends and get a bit closer to her sister, didn't get to know her father though :( it's a great nite.. nyesel banget dah gue kalo gak dateng..

akhirnya balik sekitar jam 10an kalo gak salah, amir ma lucy balik duluan bareng vita and the gang. Gue akhirnya balik bedua ma hendra doang.. trus ke kampus bawain makanan buat mika (yang tertinggal dikampus gara2 gak standby dibawah waktu mo brangkat dan gak ada yang inget buat miskol :P). trus abis itu tidur de... cape berat bo.. ya engga langsung tidur juga si, siap2 buat ngasi tutorial Operating System ma 2003 Kelas Internasional dan juga bikin ikomers dikit2 :P

~nite2all..
~ngantuk ni..

2004-10-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

"Last Night "
Al Jarreau

I thought about you, last night
About you, I thought about you (2x)

It's like they use to say
You'll never gonna survive
Unless you're just a little crazy
Jump right in the game of love
Start believin' in that someone
You can really trust

CHORUS:
Last night
I thought about you
(And the miracles of things that you do)
Last night
I thought about you
(And everyday your ways, I'll thank you)

You're just the one for me
And I believe you'll never leave
Take care my heart and soul
Never left to take a full control

repeat Chorus

You, you brighten my life
So many times
And believe me
I'm so satisfied
I know I'm sure
I found what I was lookin' for

repeat Chorus

~buatYangNgirim..thx..

little things...
sometimes, little things are what matters the most..

~howCanIPossiblyLeaveYou..

damn cold!

2004-10-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

hm.. makin lama aja ni jangka waktu pengisian blog. Abis tiap kali mo ngisi either emang gak ada waktu ato internet kampus makin lemot beng beng jadinya ilfil berat. But then again, gue juga bingung mo ngisi apaan :p anyway, ini lagi di lab1106 sambil menunggu ikomers. Duh, need some sleep... 2 hari yang lalu gagal buat tidur dan kmaren cuman 4 jam, padahal masih sakit gini. My body is sooo not delicious :( pengen pulang kerumah cuman kerjaan lagi banyak gini, mudah2an minggu ini bisa pulang :D

saya sakit... lemes... batuk2 gak jelas.. flu... dan sekarang pake doping yang dikasih pacar just to stay awake :P and no, dopingnya bukan sustakal (susu tanpa kaleng :P). Namanya apa ya, Theragram kalo gak salah, cuman takut aja si nantinya bakal ketergantungan ma tu obat. Never like using them, cuman ya.. lagi butuh. Mudah2an sminggu lagi udah gak butuh lagi.

duh, masih blm kesampean mo ke mangdu buat beli DVD-rom ama memori, soalnya dvd gue diembat ma kochan dan memori gue yang sekarang are literally killing me xp duh, sama blm ksampean juga ni mo pegi buat beli digicam... padahal lagi pengen banget :D masih harus bertahan dengan kamera di hp de :( gak sempet ini, gak sempet itu.. even setting up a date aja harus diundur sampe 2 minggu kedepan, itu juga kalo jadi. Ya su lah, mo gmana lagi..

~stillNeedAVacation
~orAtLeastADate :)

felt so stupid..

2004-10-16T13:29:00.000-07:00

There are so many stupid things that i do for the sake of doing in.. and now i felt doing it more and more for even by more stupid reasons. So i'm doing stupid stuffs for stupid reasons (hm...). Kinda wonder how my GPA can come up with that number xP

Gue cape.. for the past days gue cape berat. So many things that i have to do yet so little time. Yang paling bikin stress tu gara2 some stupid client who don't even know what he wants, but expect me to know?? o come on! i am not a God! i don't read minds and hell i can't tell the future! if you don't know what u want then DON'T EXPECT ME TO KNOW! klien kayak gini ni yang paling bikin gue stress. this is an actual conversation altered in simple manners, tapi kira2 gitu de:

SC : Stupid Client
Me : not Me

SC: Gue pengen bikin sesuatu yang keren banget deh! sesuatu yang baru dan inovatif
Me: Oke, jadi maunya bikinnya gmana ni?
SC: Lah, itu mah urusan lo, pokoke gue mau lo bikin yang keren!
Me: oke, jadi bikin apa ni yang keren?
SC: pokoke bikin aplikasi gitu de, yang keren yah...
Me: oke... 0_o!

Makanya gue aga2 lebih mending kerja dengan orang IT sekalian. At least they know what they're doing.. Gue penat banget with the change of design at all times, kemaren bilang A besok bilang C besoknya lagi bilang Z!!! ARRRGHHHH.. stress... (dan bukan, gue gak ngomongin SAMIP kok xp). Mungkin gara2 ini juga si gue jadi labil berat, maap ya buat orang2 yang gue jutekin akhir2 ini.. feeling so hectic these past days..

oh iye baru beli tutorial Adobe Illustrator CS written by some gay, dari dulu pengen belajar si cuman gak ada waktu mulu (dan kayak sekarang ada waktu aja). Mungkin entar kali ya after this is done. Dan mudah2an (InsyaAllah) setelah lulus semester ini gue mo aktualisasi diri dulu, making things that i've been thinking about for years tapi gak sempet2 mulu... kangen banget dah gue ngoprek2 tanpa deadline :P

I'm Sorry
I'm sorry, i can't tell u this enough. i know that i'm at fault and acted so childish and all and i'm really sorry. I can't bear losing u, and the thought of that makes me so childish and stupid. And for that i apologize.. maap...

2004-10-15T16:39:00.000-07:00

what a bad day.. as in really SUCK!

S is for the way it felt SO SUCK!
U is for the way U SUCK!
C is come on! u SUCK!
K is well.. it suck.. it just SUCK!

~what a bad day...

hoa.. dah lama

2004-10-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

eh udah lama juga ya gak posting.. sibuk banget ni jadinya gak sempet :P lagian gak ada yang menarik juga buat dipost. Paling cuman seminggu ini gw ma anak2 nyodok mulu tiap hari dari jam 7 sampe 12 malem(pas tutup). Puas bo walopun lumayan memakan kantong x( trus abis itu sabtu kmaren si alvin traktiran buat ulang tahunnya yang tanggal 10 okt. Met ultah ya vin!! anyway, minggu gue balik ke rumah (akhirnya, setelah don't know how long...) soalnya ada yang minta ditonton (gak minta si, cuman seneng aja kalo dateng.. sigh). Ada acara Tribute to Japanese Band dan si ojo manggung. Gue kesana jam 2 dari rumah dan nyampenya jam 4 kurang lebih si, ktinggalan wasabi dan yang sebelumnya but i'm not a fan of Dir en gray so gak nyesel juga si.

nyampe disono pas Onizuka lagi manggung covering MUCC. Don't know the band jadinya gak terlalu ngerti juga, tapi enjoy aja si. Trus abis itu it's either Kyuuto or Soundwave gue lupa. Gile gue gak nyangka banget vokalisnya Soundwave covering Gackt ternyata cewe.. gue udah pesimis duluan tapi ternyata, mantep banget de. Jadi lebih ngefans ma Gackt :P pas Kyuuto juga keren si, cuman kayaknya intan(vokalisnya) keabisan tenaga ditengah2 jadinya kurang pol aja, Cayoo tan, moga2 the next gig bisa kuat ampe abis!

abis itu canon covering Kiroro. Gak tau kiroro jadinya hanya bisa menikmati :p Yang mantep lagi abis itu BANZAI!! they ROCKS!!! top abis dah, ya gitaris ya ya vokalnya ya semua, dimulai dengan menyanyikan lagu indonesia raya bareng2 :P padahal vokalisnya ngomong dengan medoknya cuman pas nyanyi.. gak nyangka banget de.. bawain 4 lagu selama setengah jam.. trus Zeal datang dengan vokalisnya memakai helm! membawakan opening saint saiya sebagai opening scene! trus abis itu niji kalo gak salah, dan ada lagu digimon juga ama spirit dreams inside.. Dan setelah mereka, akhirnya Jetto manggung. Dengan vokalisnya (malik) dan gitarisnya (boy) demam2 dan sakit2an, but they still did a hell-of-a-gig! keren, everybody gone wild, gue sampe lompat2 gak jelas padahal sepatu gue kekecilan, alhasil kaki gue sakit berat pas balik... abis Jetto gue gak liat Kirie covering Siam Shade si, soalnya udah cape berat dan keluar ma ojo buat nyari fresh air.. didalem pengap banget. Tapi ya emang udah banyak yang balik abis jetto. Gw diluar mengatasi kepenganan dikuping gara2 bediri disamping speaker :P it was wild and fun :) nyesel gue kalo gak dateng... btw kalo mau inside and closer review baca blognya ojo aja. Detil tu kayaknya :D

trus balik de
iya de balik de, sekitar jam 11an dan pintu rumah sudah dikunci dan semua orang udah tidur. Gue terlantar diluar sekitar 20 menitan sampe bokap gue keluar buat bukain pintu.. cape banget.. tapi laper. Jadi makan dulu, sholat trus... zzZZZZzzZZ...end of day

dan sekarang dikampus lagi menjalani rutinitas sehari2 dengan kerjaan bejibun dan tugas yang merajarela... sigh...

my birthday 21

2004-10-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

b4 any corrections made, the above title is on purpose. why? i just want to :P

so, kmaren gue kan bikin traktiran di avenue A semanggi. Gila ngeliat macetnya itu gue aga2 nyesel juga ngadainnya disitu. Perjalanan kesana yang makan waktu kurang lebih 2 jam bikin males banget. Baru pada berangkat jam 4an setelah dengan susah payah mengumpulkan anak2 (yah enggak juga si, tinggal sebarin kabar bakal ada traktiran, langsung ngumpul semua :P nunggu2innya itu yang lama). Abis itu pake acara foto2 dulu didepan lab :P. Setelah itu, berangkatlah kami ke Plaza Semanggi. kesananya pake mobilnya rama, basQ dan vivi terus terbagi 3-lah kita semua. Gue ikut rama coz it's a BMW 318i :P keren bo! cuman pake acara nyasar dulu dan jadi yang terakhir dateng malahan :P

and so akhirnya nyampe! hore, bahagia banget dah gue pas nyampe mengingat dan mempertimbangkan bahwa gue laper berat! dan kayaknya anak2 juga sama xp anyway, kita sholat dulu trus langsung de ke avenue A. trus itung2 anak2 yang dateng ada 22 orang. yang dari kampus gue, rama, edo, wahyu, rei (dengan mobil rama) trus ada basQ, amir, faiz, sipit, jenong, deta, yoga, gowo (dimobil basQ) trus dito, vivi dan fajar (di mobil vivi) trus ucil nyusul dengan niatnya menggunakan taksi, si dini ma ami gak jadi pegi karena deadline (huahahha :P maap) chris gak bisa ikut karena anum, memed nyusul dari mangga dua dan doni ma ahmad nyusul dari accenture. Udah lengkap 22 blm ya?

menu dimulai dengan memesan 5 pizza medium untuk 3-5 dan minuman sendiri2, gue agak2 lupa si mesen apaan, ada yang salmon, joey, godfather, trus apalagi yah... trus gue ketagihan ma joey dan lagian emang kurang juga buat anak2 jadi mesen 2 lagi. dan ternyata masih kurang juga jadi akhirnya mesen 2 lagi. trus satu lagi buat anak2 sarken dipesenin new york special :) Mana disana gue dipaksa make topi krucut warna merah memalukan sekali :( dasar anak2...

trus tanpa disangka (boong deng :P) anak2 nyiapin blueberrry cheese cake kesukaan gue :d trus dipakein lilin angka 21, hore! dah lama gak niup lilin ulang taun (yah, setaun kan lama xp). And you know what? i ate 6 slice of pizza and 2 slice of blueberry cheese cake :d delicious :D thx guys, it's a such a great day :D walaupun menghabiskan dana yang cukup besar :P tapi puas berat!

back home(gak home juga si :P)
akhirnya balik ama basQ de, soalnya rama nganterin wahyu yang katanya ada "urusan". Jadi bareng2lah kami balik. Mana sipit, yoga dan ucil dengan PDnya menyanyikan satu album ten 2 five + mltr dikit dan mengakibatkan kepengangan telinga dan sedikit kemunduran otak :P duh.. balik2 pusing2...

abis balik gue langsung ke sarken nyerahin pizza buat anak2 trus langsung cabut ke tempat yayang buat ngasi salad :) dan tentu saja ngambil kado :D

only u
Cuman lo doang de satu2nya cewe yang ngasi gue maenan hp yang bisa bunyi2 gak jelas buat ulang tahun :P tapi masih ada jam lucu berat dengan tulisan "let's take a break" :) nice reminder hun :P ama yang terakhir yang gue pengen banget dari dulu, tapi sayang gak ada guenya disitu :P it's a picture of her to be put on the side of my computer. lumayan banget sebagai boost of moral :D thx berat hon, it means a lot to me :)) and btw thx for the "treats" xD luv u so much

i'm 21.. sigh...

2004-10-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday happy birthday
happy birthday to me

~whatapatheticsong...:P

Ini hari sabtu lho...

2004-10-02T01:12:00.000-07:00

There were days when live is soo beautiful and times when everything you do would be the best of others.. well, this is one of those days, that are not. gue capek banget gara2 kmaren (dunno why) trus juga duit abis gini buat nyodok beberapa hari ini, puas si :D dan kayaknya masih terus :P dan sempet menang mie goreng atu dari abas :) gue akhir2 ini cape banget walaupun otak gue gak mau berhenti berpikir dan tetep produktif... gue nyesel juga nih knapa gue gak olahraga lebih banyak coba :(

work work
and yes.. work again, gak bosen2nya yah gue :P lagi susah banget ni membangkitkan mood kerja padahal bejibun berat gini :( duh, mana k700i gue joysticknya rusak2 ble'e gitu dan balik2 ke kosan ternyata blutut gue udah bengkok.. masih jalan si, cuman gak tau deh didalemnya kayak apa. Dan sampe sekarang masih gak sempet ngeflash firmware HaPe gue. Padahal tinggal ke PIM trus ngeflash juga cuman 10 menit, tapi gak sempet ke PIMnya.. hell, gue nonton TV aja udah gak sempet lagi. Nitip gowo aja de buat ngeflash, lebih gampang :D ya gak wo :D dan besok gue musti pulang trus ke mal ambassador buat komplain soal joystick...

shop shop shop
kmaren liat2 digicam di internet dan jatuh cinta ama Canon IXUS i s10. Bentuknya si keren tapi kayaknya si kalah kemampuan ama Canon IXUS iis s110, well nomor serinya aja beda 100 gitu lo, cuman gak tau juga si.. ada yang bisa kasih komen? gue bingung mo beli yang mana soalnya harganya cuman beda 10 ribu doang (mengasumsikan www.jpckemang.com tidak bohong :P). Gue lagi butuh banget ni digicam.. yang di HaPe gak cukup sama sekali... trus jadi pengen beli iPod, trus jadi pengen beli Mac, blm lagi PSTwo ato PSP, trus aja buang2 duit :( i need to stop this...

btw bentar lagi tanggal 4!!! :D hehehe, hari yang mengingatkan gue bahwa gue sudah tua... dan harus lebih bertanggung jawab... well, setidaknya gue setuju ama yang pertama si :P

will it ever get more complicated than this
Yes, i got a feeling that it will.. but whatever happens, percaya aja kalo itu semua adalah gangguan dan bukan godaan... :) (hehehe lokal)

the last day

2004-09-30T01:30:00.000-07:00

Hari ini hari terakhir matrix flat! waaaaaaaaa... gak bisa lagi de nginternet di kosan :( ya su mo gmana lagi, males pake star one soalnya kata orang2 udah lemot. well saatnya unsubscribe gprs matrix gue. Tapi kayaknya nomornya masih dipake si soalnya enak si, gak ada abodemennya, dan cenderung lebih murah. udah 2 bulan pake dan tagihannya reasonable. Cuman sinyalnya ble'e berat!!!! tolong ya udah gabung jadi satu di satelindo juga, kok sinyalnya masih ble'e gitu... singgggg

And so it seem
Kenyataan tu pahit banget!! gile gue dikecam abis dikantor, well not really si tapi gue aja yang ngerasa gitu. i feel that my capabilities as a designer is a big zero! When compared to a pro, it's like a child babbling to an elder. I felt like i was nothing and to the fact that i am.. really motivates me :D it's a big world, and i have a big dream :p still got a lot to go, not to mention expensive :( tapi yah.. who sez that dreams are cheap. If dreams can be achieve that easy, then it won't be challenging thus making it dull, and not worth fighting for :)

trus ada yang komentar that my english sucks... gotta lot to catch up to you i guess :D

so little time, so much 2 do....

2004-09-29T13:20:00.000-07:00

Gile, gue kira dengan ngurangin jumlah proyek bakal bisa lebih gak sibuk.. tapi mengapa kenyataan berbicara :( (apaan si :P). Gue stress tiap kali liat jadwal gue di HaPe, gila, buat bulan ini gak ada satu haripun tanpa janji (that includes saturday and sunday) dan semakin gue liat semakin gue gak percaya.. mungkin karena sekarang kuliah gue gak bisa gue lakuin sebelah badan (Apa coba istilahnya) ato emang gue sekarang terlalu mikirin terlalu banyak hal, ato mungkin baru sadar aja soalnya baru akhir2 ini gue ngejadwalin di satu agenda (biasanya asal inget :P). Kok gue bisa santai2 aja ya sebelumnya.. mungkin karena emang gak gw pikirin aja kali ya. Terlalu banyak ni yang ada dipikiran gue saat ini yang gue males banget mikirin..

Mac
keren bo.. tadi nyoba2 di kantor baru trus kayak anak kecil dapet maenan baru :P trus iconnya gue ganti segede2 gaban biar efeknya keliatan banget xp gak jelas banget dah disana cuman maenan F9, F10, F11 trus liat window2 bergerak kemana2 :D huaaaaa.. keren... beli ah xp (guplak, ditabok si ndut deh). Mac tu terlalu banyak hal2 gak penting, cuman keren banget :P ama mahalnya gak nahan...

Class of 2001
wadoh! angkatan ni.. kapan lagi kita jalan2! :D udah lama banget gak ngumpul2 bareng satu angkatan ato setidaknya seragaman pake baju warna :P terakhir kapan coba, white yah kalo gak salah.. ama ke dufan bareng, maybe about a year ago. dan sepertinya kita bakal ngumpul bareng entar pas februari.. pas wisudaan :D good luck to you all, and have a nice future for all of ya! duh, gak nyangka udah berlalu begitu cepat :( Gonna miss u all, berasa baru masuk kemaren padahal... oh iya, selamat buat Mika dengan sidang pertamanya untuk 2001 dan dapet A lagi :D congrats! Gue kapan yah, males banget ni bikin laporan X(

work day
bagi yang gak tau, senin sampe jum'at tu hari kerja! trus sabtu tu hari kerja! dan minggu tu hari kerja! gmana si, gitu aja gak tau...

~i really need a vacation :D
~around the world in half-a-day
~why? coz that's all the time i have for a vacation x(

it's a beautiful world :)

2004-09-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

i'm not good with words... so this'll have to do :D

what to do what to do

2004-09-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

Gile... makin kepikiran aja nih gue abis kul mo ngapain. Nyokap cerita banyak tentang sodara gue yang baru lulus dari universitas sumthin di Malay ato yang lagi ngambil computer science di Canada, some in singapore.. ARRRGHHH.. makin bingung... beneran de kalo dipilih mo kuliah ato kerja, gue jauh lebih pengen kuliah aja de, tapi dibayar :P kerja tu cape dan tanggung jawabnya tinggi banget, kalo kuliah kan enak kalo gak bisa ya tinggal cuci xp tapi mo sampe kapan bisa begitu... gotta work someday..

the dream job
Tadi baru liat blog punyanya loucee di sini. Dia kerja jadi graphic designer di big apple and wow... itu tu kerjaan impian gue banget!!! gue salut de ma tu orang. an indonesian working as a graphic designer in the US. gue gak tau si banyak ato dikit, soalnya baru tau satu ini and would like to know more about it :) duh pengen banget kayak gitu. Cuman gak tau gmana caranya sampe sono. Hix hix pengen. kapan yah :D gue masih stuck di programming nih dan sepertinya bakal kerja disitu for a while, semoga bisa!!! :D

proyek proyek...
Masih berusaha untuk meminimalisir yang ini, tapi kok kayaknya susah banget ya nolaknya :P blm selesai satu udah ditawarin lagi, dan gue kan gak tahan godaan :p tapi sekarang gue cuman ngerjain kerjaan desain aja si buat aktualisasi diri. Dan juga masih banyak banget yang harus gue kerjain namely kuliah yang bener :P dan juga banyak banget yang pengen gue lakuin kayak baca2 buku yang gue gak sempet baca, bikin2 hal2 yang pengen gue bikin, belajar banyak hal seperti Adobe GoLive, InDesign, trus Illustrator blm lagi 3dmax ato maya. blm lagi j2me... dan lagi pengen ngembangin voidance nih! woiii anak2 voidance (nama baru xinema :P), ayo kerja lagi!!! :P duh kapannnnnnnn ini semua bisa gue lakuin coba.. eh iya dan satu lagi yang paling penting : PACARAN!! :P

and for u only
thank u for being my best friend, my sister, my mother :P, my teacher, and especially my love one.. and i love u so...

:(

2004-09-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

kangen...

It's just so Purrrrrrrfect!

2004-09-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

We met in a very no-no condition with the surroundings are even at worst as it is, with a reason that is very unreasonable at a very bad timing. And ended up really well :D For the second time in my life that i can be really honest (as in honest literally, usually i don't lie, but still not being honest :P) to someone, and the first would be to myself :P

What more can i say... it just went from almost-2-good-to-be-true to purrrrrfect :) i've known her for what? a month or so, and it's like i've known her for all my life! she understand everything there is about me and tolerates mostly anything in my past... gue cuman gak boleh cukur botak aja ma dia :P it's so good to have u.

~:D

Day after day, time after time

2004-09-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

Dodol nih, gue hari ini baru bangun jam 11 gara2 disuruh ke kantor jam 10 tadi malem buat nyerahin latest update. Yah sebenernya si bisa lebih pagian cuman kerjaan partner gue blm selesai jadinya ya nungguin(not that i blame u though, it's a process :D) and to the fact that i don't really mind :P trus jam 10 kesitu dan ternyata si bos lagi sibuk.. yak terpaksa menunggu sampe jam 11an baru bisa ngerapatin tu kerjaan dan ending up selesai jam 12an gitu.. gara2 males ngerjain besok ya udah gue kerjain dikit2 dan akhirnya bangun jam 11 pagi. Don't really remember what time did i go to sleep though :P dan hari ini lebih males lagi.. kerjaan datang bejibun rianya. Hari ini harus baca bahan2 seminar padahal masih harus ngerjain e-commerce ma spk yang dikumpulin minggu ini. Blm lagi belajar VHDL buat ngerjain SP *sigh*. Itu kuliah, trus masih harus ngerjain 2 proyek desain yang kmaren ternyata ada kurangnya.. salah satu kerjaannya tu ngedesain web buat jualan sutra, ya mana gue tau kalo sutra yang dimaksud lebih ke arah batik, wong dia gak bilang. Wang hasil desain gue gak cocok ma yang dia mau dan akhirnya harus ngedesain ulang :( ya su lah, it's part of the job desc : having a client that don't know what he/she wants :P aside from that, and moreover haven't finish the previous jobs, i got another design job.. i get to design the new and improved hukumonline.com. it's a 3 month project so i won't get to busy.. i hope xp it's good that i get more and more design jobs coz i don't really like coding and kinda been trying to get out of it :P tapi takutnya ntar ntar gue udah bosen ngedesain trus jadi kangen ngoding lagi xD wakakakaka, only God knows..

bleh bleh
Gila.. mood gue gak ada yang enak minggu ini. gara2 kerjaan bejibun jadinya pikiran hectic dan butek mulu. thank God you're there, i don't know what'll happen if you weren't there. I dunno, u made me feel that i can do anything xp even in times when i thought that it's foolish and unreasonable.. but i did it anyway and well.. it works :P maybe coz i know that even if i fail, i'll always have you to turn back to :D

is it that complicated?
I never even imagine that this relationship that i jump to would be this complicated.
The fact that my friends hate her and the fact that her friends hate me would already make it complicated.. And also with more complicated matters and issues involves.. come on, it's only been a week but soooo much problems arise. And why didn't i see this coming... i really don't like this, but usually i don't really care. Trus knapa sekarang gue peduli banget. Maybe i've change, maybe not...

gue capek tutup mulut, and i guess it's already the time to tell this to everyone anyway.. and whatever happens next, happens for a reason.

believe me, i won't give up if u won't...

Sunday Mornin

2004-09-19T17:52:00.000-07:00

Huah.. akhirnya updet2 lah ni blog ku ini.. iseng2 ganti logo Y!M, tambah2in friends link ma ganti comment jadi pake halo scan dan ngubah2 beberapa kata seperlunya :D oh oya, kembali ngaktifin blog ring yang diatas.. knapa? ya lagi pengen aja :P

sms counter
597 sms sebulan. hm.. padahal 3 hari yang lalu cuman 200an. parah, jadinya gue ngabisin kira2 80an sms sehari. Buset dah, banyak juga yah, wonder how much it'll cost me this month :( tapi yah, resiko si :P mo gmana lagi :D toh gue mnikmatinya juga...

~falling deeper & deeper...

Changes...

2004-09-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

"we both need to adjust some things..." - 180904 7:49 PM

those would be the words that i must plunge into my deepest darkest blurred blob of feelings i called heart.. so, anybody interested in spelunking? xp

hahaha, no really.. i will

PS:
dah ganti tuh tulisan di atas, apakah gue perlu ngubah nama komputer gue juga sekalian?

prejudice

2004-09-16T22:01:00.000-07:00

weird Audio pronunciation of "weird" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (wîrd)
adj. weird·er, weird·est

1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural.
2. Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.
3. Archaic. Of or relating to fate or the Fates.

okay, so i am weird, i am different, i am unusual but that doesn't mean that i am wrong! i don't do most of the things you people do but that doesn't give u all the right to judge me! who the f*ck are U! u've known me for what? 1/20 of my life and you think that u know me? GET REAL!!! humans are not that predictable, and surely they're not that simple.. sigh.. i hate prejudice and i don't give a damn about people's opinion, but what i care is when that opinion hurts the ones that i care about. And it hurts me more than u know...

right or wrong are always in God's hand, not in the majority nor the minority. So i wanna clear this on more time. If i don't do what you do, that doesn't mean that i'm wrong and if i do what you don't do.. then that still doesn't mean that i'm wrong. So Buzz OFF!!! and if you think that i don't have the right to say this on public then you're one of "those" people. And if you're a friend.. then stop being one..

PS : gue lagi kesel dan bad mood banget hari ini dan jika ada yang gue tampol for simple reasons, well, lo lagi sial aja... sooooooooo in a bad mood...

serendipity

2004-09-14T18:49:00.000-07:00

it took :

1 desperate feeling
7 friendster messages
6 emails
3 deep conversations
1 month (edited!!!)

~ternyata dikit yah..
~how is this possible...
~only God knows why

it's just a thing...

2004-09-14T02:33:00.000-07:00

have u ever been in the situation where u knew what the answer is or you already knew what you are supposed to do and yet.. you hesitate. You already decided and yet, you still asks for opinions, eventhough you knew that those opinions won't even budge your decision...

~soWhyBother...

in a rush

2004-09-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

sometimes, stuffs we never even dreamed or imagined would happen.. well happen...

agony

2004-09-09T04:46:00.000-07:00

ag·o·ny ( P )
n. pl. ag·o·nies

1. The suffering of intense physical or mental pain.
2. The struggle that precedes death.
3. A sudden or intense emotion: an agony of doubt.
4. A violent, intense struggle.

~hmm...sounds familliar...

To Oppose a God

2004-09-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

Do you about the matrix theory where in the future, humans would only be batteries
for the machines? or the terminator theory or the "I, Robot" theory where
humans will eventually be obsolete to their own creation and eventually extinct...
in a human point of view, that's very scary... :P

in a concept of a creation goes against it creator is a concept that's have existed from decades ago, and i mean back then about thousands of years ago. in about 440 BC, there's a city called babylon that's very prosperous and glorius that they declared their city as the capital of the world. Their culture and technology is at farmost the advanced in their era.

The city itself is like a fortress itself, it has an outer wall that's very thick and wide and also an inner wall that's not very thick. inside lies the Tower of Jupiter
Belus, this tower was predicted as the famous Tower of Babel or some might say the Tower of Babylon.

The Tower was made by humans from all of the world to make their way to heaven.
Their jealousy on God's power made them do that and tried to opposed God...

In the words of Genesis taken from a Hebrew Scriptures (Gen:11:1-9, KJV) sez that :

And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech. And it came to pass,
as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and
they dwelt there. And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn
them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter. And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the
whole earth. And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the
children of men builded. And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech. So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

the Tower of Babylon is said to be 650 feet high and a quarter of a mile square at the base. it's about 195 in meters. Legend has is that the tower is half the way up heaven.. hm, the Taipei 101 tower that is said to be the world tallest building is 1,670 ft tall or 509 m or the second best is the Petronas Tower Malaysia which is 1,483 ft or 452 m. i'm not a jew nor am i not a christian, i'm a moslem. and if the legends were true, then upthere they would be having a hell of a conversation with God and His angels xD

the freaky me..

2004-09-05T23:38:00.000-07:00

i am a nerd... i can never be myself in front of anyone, especially my love ones. i have a tendency to keep everything to myself, i'm an introvert person. I hate strangers, although very seldomly felt familiar to some. I don't really care about other peoples' opinion. I'm afraid of new things (and that makes me xenophobia). I hate changes. I can't dance, i can't sing, i can't even play any music instrument, not even a guitar. i have a default face and an attitude that tends to drove people away. I'm still a nobody despite of whatever that i do. I'm fat and overweight. I don't know how to dress myself properly. my wardrobe is still the same as last year. i only have 2 jeans, and one is kinda tore apart(di dengkul). I'm not dating anyone. i hate crowded places, and enjoy most of the time being alone. i suck at any sports, i suck at any game i play. i sleep at 4 AM wakes up at 11 AM. i think differently that everyone else. i hate working as much as i love it. my hair style is so outdated (so like 70's). i don't watch tv. i never knew what's going on in the world. i didn't go out much. i spent most of my holidays by working and spent most of my weekend in my kost, playing counter strike or just doin nothing useful.. i've never been outside of indonesia. i'm a dreamer out of my sleep. i'm a lazy bastard. and you know what? i'm starting to hate myself these days...

Indo? ya ato tidak...

2004-09-03T11:13:00.000-07:00

knapa si orang indonesia tu nasionalismenya rendah banget.. i really hate the phrase "indonesia gitu lho.." sumpah itu tu kayak, well kesannya udah biasa banget dan gak ada arah ke perubahan sama sekali! tiap kali gue ngajak orang ke festival komik indonesia (yang btw tiap tahun diadain..) orang2 pasti pada males semua, they're being prejudice on the work of THEIR OWN COUNTRY! o for the love of god, IT'S YOUR FU***N COUNTRY!! the least you can do is appreciate it.. padahal gue tau banget mereka bakal dateng kalo itu pameran komik jepang. Pertama2, gue negasin dulu kalo gue nulis ini bukan pengen bikin kalian kasian ma indonesia trus jadi mengalokasikan apresiasi dikit karena kasian tapi karya2 anak bangsa tu sekarang udah bagus2 banget! percaya ato enggak..

Tau gak si kalo banyak komik di elex yang biasanya one-shot(komik 1 doang, gak ada terusannya) tu karya lokal tapi pake nama samaran jepang. Bayangin dong harus digituin biar bisa dibeli ma orang sendiri. Dan itu penghargaannya terhadap pengarangnya sendiri tu minim banget, masa 1 komik 100 halaman dibayar dibawah 1 juta, kerjaan 7 bulan tu! heran gue... Kebayang kan betapa menyedihkannya nasionalisme kita. Trus untuk pameran komik yang biasanya diadain oleh MKI(Masyarakat Komik Indonesia.. ya, itu ada...) untuk Tahun ini gue mo ngajakin temen2 gue tu (seperti 3-4 tahun sebelumnya) susaaaaaaahhhh banget.. ujung2nya gue ngajakin orang2 yang dulu2 lagi, dan kayaknya disana juga orang2nya itu2 aja.. hmph, sebel banget gue.

Someone once said this to me, "Indonesia itu sekarang bagaikan singa yang tertidur dan dibiarkan tidur oleh semut2 yang berkeliaran, hanya menunggu saatnya untuk bangun". Well gue bilang indonesia tu udah jadi bangkai singa yang udah disemutin tau, kudu bawa banyak necromancer buat bangkitin dan butuhin tenaga banyak banget :P mungkin ni negara dijual aja kali ya.. ke singapore ato malay gitu biar bagusan dikit. I'm sick of this country! when i'm done here, i'll go to malay and marry Siti Nurhaliza.. ato adeknya juga boleh kalo ada :P

Workin' Mobile

2004-09-03T04:00:00.000-07:00

a friend once told me that there's this gue in i-don't-know-where country. he's an employee of a big company namely anyone-would-know where he works remotely from anyone he wants. Maybe it would be a little awkward here in indonesia but -what i know is that- an employee working in remote place (in this meaning, not in some place called office) is pretty normal and have been widely practice in most countries these days. It eliminates the time you took to go to your office and also the tendencies of adapting to the office, and also it saves up some space for the employee. The work hours would be the same, and you might be busy with work even if your not on work hours, but hey! it's metropolitan age already so get on it :P

Could you imagine yourself waking up at 9, then you just went to starbucks or coffee beans and sit there drinking coffe, maybe inviting a friend or two to chat while you're working. And that's your everyday routine.. usually a fancy coffe shop like starbucks or malls and public places like citos offer wi-fi service for free. So you can take your laptop there and be working with it. wo while still connected to the internet thus still being able to hold a teleconference A.K.A remote meeting thus not loosing any information and communication from your fellow employee and boss. Wouldn't you prefer being in that kinda routine and going to your little cubicle everyday?

~btw He Get's About 150K a Year

Design Design Design!!!

2004-09-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

Coz these days i wanna get out of the world of complicated code A.K.A programming for a while (mumet!!!) :) and i don't know what angel whisper me into this, i wanna help makes new designs for my friends blogs :D baek kan gue :P lagi mumet banget ma programming dan bener2 lagi pengen lari ke desain tapi gak tau mau desain apaan :) akhirnya redesigning my blog de trus kepikiran ma ide ini. Dan berhubung juga ada beberapa orang yang pernah minta, so why not!

so buat yang ngaku2 temen gue silahkan kirim sms DESAINNAMA ke.. hahaha, never mind, you could just ask me away at campus and i'll do you the favor :)

Is my choice wrong or...

2004-09-01T03:57:00.000-07:00

These days, i've been doing a lot of thinking about my future.. when i decided to go to this major is because i love playing computer and also making designs and stuff with it, tweaking it and playin with it. But these past 6 months i've been in this hectic mood because i'm really really working in my field. i meant really have an office and go to work and stuff, being a programmer like i should be. And u know what? it's booooorrrrrriiiiiinggg.. i don't know about other works, is it this boring working behind the desk all day and doing something we don't really like (in my case, coding... :() for the rest of our working years... AAAAARRRRRRRGHHHH and what troubles me is the money A.K.A salary.. i mean, with this kind of salary, it would take about 10 years to get a car and another ten to 18 years to get a house... huff huff, life's though (referring that i save 1 million rupiah a month regularly..). So, anybody wanna marry me when i'm 42?

Well, if the world is like that then i'd prefer doing something that i like and get a good salary out of it (well.. that's what we all want :P) or at least be the same as that... I'm thinking of going all out in design! well, i know i'm not good enough now, but the thought haunts me :D maybe coz i'm (suppose to be) graduating next semester so the plans comes running through my head... I really need to talk to someone pro in the design field about this, anybody has someone in mind? i'm thinking Diaz of Cyro, but i don't really know him :( i really need to make sure about my future, why? well coz it's my future that's why :D

Btw, got this sms from someone and it's kinda nice :

God never gave us happiness without sadness or sorrow,
But God will always gave us the strength to overcome it all.
we just need to be brave enough to accept that strength :)

~thx,I really need it :)

It's OnLY a DreAm

2004-08-31T01:25:00.000-07:00

A wonderful dream is nightmare in reality, u know why? because in the next morning when u woke up.. u realize that is was just a dream and it is something that never happen, not in the past and definitly not in the present, and maybe it'll never will be. When i'm having a wonderful dream, i wouldn't wanna wake up. Why bother coming back to the daze of reality if what awaits is only a living nightmare of trial and errors. I'd wanna be in the dream forever and never to have woken up. And the world would be a beautiful place to begin with :D hehehe wish it would be that easy. I can't sleep forever.. but when a wonderful dream takes place and i accidently woke up, well i'd just try and keep trying to sleep again hoping that the dream would continue and the world would finally be a wonderful place to be. But the dream always stops, it never continue 'till the end.. and i'm captured in the glory of reality where as i'm late for work and my eyes are still as sore as ever xp

Maybe we've never woken up, maybe this is just another dream, whether it's beautiful or not. Be careful when u're having such a wonderful live! maybe it's all just a dream and someday u'll wake up realizing that all of it never happens. Impossible? why not? When we're having a nightmare in our reality lives, we wished that it's only a nightmare and we would soon be awaken, realizing that none of the craze never happens... who knows, maybe it is just a nightmare, or maybe it's just a wonderful dream..

so, have u been awaken?

Dr. Victor F.

2004-08-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

Have u heard of the frankenstein theory. Well It's actually novel written
by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley in March 11, 1818. the creature was
born with a mind of a child but a big body of a brute, big stitches in his face,
and 2 bolt in his neck. victor disgust him for he ran out, scared of his own creation eventhough his creation never been in a harmful way... the monster, as so they say, ran away.

Every single human that sees It(the monster) hates it, frighten, surprise,
but definitly despise it. He was never accepted because of his looks eventhough
he did nothing in any harmful way. For every good deed It did, all that It received
is another mock or another gunshot, and another knife hole in its body. And in
the end, It became a monster that all the people reckon before.. it became a
vicious monster that in the end being hunted by its creator.

It's a very sad story really. But the moral of the story is so deep and
full of conflict. its an ingeneous of and englishwoman. By the Way, frankenstein
was also filmized, the first and most famous is in 1910. a classic B&W movie played
by Boris Karloff as the monster and directed by James Whale. Don't know 'em? well
they died before i was born so who cares :P it's a great movie with the most
sophisticated effect could be made back then.. a classic worth watching :)

so why am i writing about a novel 2 centuries old already? well it's my blog and
there's nothing u can do about it >p hehehe, not really... it's coz
of nowadays, people tends to be prejudice over a face or the looks. Well it's
not like i'm a saint that can see peoples' heart everytime i meet new people, no...
But at the very least i'm trying not to be prejudice, don't wanna
make new frankensteins because of a little thing called prejudice... XP so guys,
close your eyes and be true to your hearts!! by the way, there a pole on y-DUAKK! well
careful.. then okay :p

footnote :
maybe someone would wanna write a novel about a DNA-Engineered human who's so
H.O.T that everyone would be kind to it and will do anything to it and it
will live happily without any trouble at all... and the moral of the story is?
...bleh...

New Design!!!

2004-08-30T03:03:00.000-07:00

New design guys!! it's the last day of my so-called vacation so i wanna do something for myself :D well, it's a kinda way to reward myself.. can't get myself to work today anyway :) btw if you're wondering about the writing behind the VeCtOr M3, it's "Seeing The World From Another Penguin". What's with the pinguin? well i wanna use Windows but but i'm afraid to get sued by the owner of the name so i'm changing it to penguin! a free word that didn't cost anything and also cute :)) enjoy!

oNE WoRd... dILemA

2004-08-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

Kenapa kita menutup mata ketika kita tidur? ketika
kita menangis? ketika kita membayangkan? Ini
karena hal terindah di dunia tidak terlihat. Ketika
kita menemukan seseorang yang keunikannya
sejalan dengan kita, kita bergabung dengannya
dan jatuh ke dalam suatu keanehan serupa yang
dinamakan Cinta.

Ada hal-hal yang tidak ingin kita lepaskan,
seseorang yang tidak ingin kita tinggalkan, tapi
melepaskan bukan akhir dari dunia, melainkan
awal suatu kehidupan baru, kebahagiaan ada
untuk mereka yang menangis, mereka yang
tersakiti, mereka yang telah dan tengah mencari,
dan mereka yang telah mencoba. Karena
merekalah yang bisa menghargai betapa
pentingnya orang yang telah menyentuh kehidupan
mereka.

Cinta yang sebenarnya adalah ketika kamu
menitikkan air mata dan masih peduli
terhadapnya, adalah ketika dia tidak
mempedulikanmu dan kamu masih menunggunya
dengan setia. Adalah ketika dia mulai mencintai
orang lain dan kamu masih bisa tersenyum dan
berkata 'aku turut berbahagia untukmu'.

Apabila cinta tidak bertemu, bebaskan dirimu,
biarkan hatimu kembali ke alam bebas lagi, kau
mungkin menyadari, bahwa kamu menemukan
cinta dan kehilangannya, tapi ketika cinta itu mati
kamu tidak perlu mati bersama cinta itu.

Orang yang bahagia bukanlah mereka yang selalu
mendapatkan keinginannya, melainkan mereka
yang tetap bangkit ketika mereka jatuh, entah
bagaimana dalam perjalanan kehidupan, kamu
belajar lebih banyak tentang dirimu sendiri dan
menyadari bahwa penyesalan tidak seharusnya
ada, cintamu akan tetap dihatinya, sebagai
penghargaan abadi atas pilihan2 hidup yang telah
kau buat.

Teman sejati, mengerti ketika kamu berkata 'aku
lupa.. ' Menunggu selamanya ketika kamu berkata
'tunggu sebentar'. Tetap tinggal ketika kamu
berkata 'tinggalkan aku sendiri'. Membuka pintu
meski kamu belum mengetuk dan belum berkata
'bolehkah saya masuk?' Mencintai juga bukanlah
bagaimana kamu melupakan dia bila ia berbuat
kesalahan, melainkan bagaimana kamu
memaafkan. Bukanlah bagaimana kamu
mendengarkan, melainkan bagaimana kamu
mengerti, bukanlah apa yang kamu lihat,
melainkan apa yang kamu rasa, bukanlah
bagaimana kamu melepaskan, melainkan
bagaimana kamu bertahan.

Lebih menyakitkan menangis dalam hati dari pada
menangis tersedu atau mengadu, air mata yang
keluar dapat dihapus, sementara air mata yang
tersembunyi menggoreskan luka dihatimu yang
tidak akan pernah hilang.
Sayang dalam cinta, kita sangat jarang peduli, tapi
ketika cinta itu tulus, meskipun kau acuhkan, cinta
tetap mulia, dan kamu seharusnya berbahagia,
hatimu dapat mencintai seseorang yang kau
sayang. Mungkin akan tiba saatnya dimana kamu
harus berhenti mencintai seseorang, bukan karena
orang itu berhenti mencintai kita melainkan karena
kita menyadari bahwa orang itu akan lebih
berbahagia apabila kita melepaskannya.

Namun bila kamu benar2 mencintai seseorang,
jangan lepaskan dia, bila dia tak membalasmu,
barangkali dia tengah ragu dan mencari, jangan
percaya bahwa melepaskan berarti kamu benar2
mencintai tanpa suatu balasan, mengapa tak
berjuang demi cintamu? mungkin itulah cinta
sejatimu.

Kadang kala, orang yang paling mencintaimu
adalah orang yang tak pernah menyatakan cinta
padamu, karena takut kau berpaling dan memberi
jarak, dan bila ia suatu saat pergi, kau akan
menyadari ia adalah cinta yang tidak kamu sadari.
Maka mengapa kau tak mengungkapkan cintamu,
bila kau memang mencintainya, meskipun kau tak
tahu apakah cinta itu ada juga padanya? Mencintai
Seseorang dengan tulus ialah menerima
keadaannya dalam suka maupun duka,
"Cinta yang Abadi Cinta yang Tdk Akan Pernah
Mati..."

from some gay dude name W. William Wong

Sinful me...

2004-08-28T23:30:00.000-07:00

the farthest distance, is not separated by life and
death nor by the place, but when I'm standing in front
of you and u don't know that I love U..

DOOM 3

2004-08-27T23:45:00.000-07:00

baru ambil doom 3 dari kampus and IT'S GREAT... jika bisa kerja di kompie gue. dol banget, masa di ATI Radeon 9600 masih ngelag kalo settingannya ultra high. parahnya lagi tu loading timenya itu lo, bikin males mati jadinya :P jadi ngeluhnya "aduh jangan mati dong, loadingnya lama ni, ble'e...". hahaha, tapi serius de grafiknya... top abis de! mungkin bisa disetarain ma Half-Life 2, well kalo udah keluar (dan kalo jadi itu juga...). Minimum requirementnya gak kalah ma Farcry sayangnya :(

lucunya, waktu nyoba di kompie gue (tadi nyobanya ditempat alvin), Jalan juga gak mau.. ada warningnya, "error, your computer does not meet the minumum requirement" ble'e. Dijalanin aja gak mau, diinstal doang jadinya.. makan 2 GB sia2 dah. apus apus...

~mungkin sudah saatnya ganti kompie :P

Alone

2004-08-27T05:05:00.000-07:00

Being alone is not something that is disparaging, it
is a gift itself. these past days, i've been spending
time with myself more often. Enjoying life as it is,
and not making a fuss of everything. well you know what?
It's fun.. being alone is different than being lonely
because if you're lonely then u need someone to be by
your side, but being alone is that you're enjoying
yourself without any company...

well let's put it this way. If your alone, you don't
have to wait for anyone, you can go whenever you want,
you don't have to say anything that you don't want to,
you'll never bring anyone's luggage, you don't have to
be shy on doing anything you want and.. well you get
the point. I love being alone for quite sometime.
because when i'm alone, i can reach out my other selfs
and make my own world, be my one self and be true to
them.. it may sounds weird but i can only work to my
fullest when i'm alone. maybe that's why we humans
like to be alone when working on something. It gives
us peace to mind our own bussiness and not caring for
another... almost all great thinker is a loner, Thomas
Alfa Edison, Einstein, Napoleon. hehehe enough about them...

But when your alone, you must do it all by yourself...
you'll be responsible for everything you do and it's kinda
hard at first... But that's the challenge of it and guess that's what
makes it fun in the first place :D

i suck real bad

2004-08-27T01:04:00.000-07:00

today... i suck at work, i can't make any design, i can't play a decent game with the others, i can't do anything right, and all i wanna do is to beat the shit out of everybody i know... hmph... this feelings' killing me slowly...

To do To do...

2004-08-26T23:59:00.001-07:00

Belajar smarty buat proyek berikutnya, bikin desain Customer Relation Management (CRM) Jaya Teknik, bikin desain buat lomba template design pivot, ketemuan ma fajar/rahmat soal bayaran proyek2 sebelumnya, bikin laporan Kerja Praktek yang bejibun banyaknya, bikin lognya Kerja Praktek juga blm, Bikin desain blog buat Ti, ganti desain blog sendiri, kembali mengembangkan hall-of-all buat Xinema, Konfirmasi kuliah luar diplomasi jepang ma konfirmasi jadi enggaknya asisten OS buat kelas internasional, ngomong ma pak Petrus soal SP, bayar tagihan matrix, burn doom 3 dan tentu saja.. ganti seprei...

of all the things that i should've done.. all i did is sit here uselessly thinking bout someone who doesn't even care bout my existence...

~crap...

...

2004-08-26T05:51:00.000-07:00

haven't seen her for sometime and today... she's just
THAT gorgeous...

Friends...

2004-08-25T12:27:00.000-07:00

i'm not a psyche, i never know what goes on in other people's minds and never will. I won't know about their feelings until they told me, and can never guess what they want if they don't just blabber it to me. so in short, i never really understand other people... maybe that's why i never really had friends back then

to tell u the truth, i'm in this bussiness(design) coz i never had good friends in junior high, so all i do is spend all my day in front my computer either drawing, or designing stuffs.. learning new things everyday from books and computer... never really go out, didn't really like crowded areas... ok, if u spend 10 hours everyday day doing photoshop for about 3-5 years, i think you'll get a hang of it :P

but now i kinda realize that i regret most of my days back then.. i've only recently been realizing what friends means.. these past years, many of them that i thought doesn't really care about me.. surprise me that they concern about me in their one unique way of caring. Well, i never been happy knowing that i was wrong :D maybe it's just little things that people doesn't even notice.. asking me how i've been, knowing my conditions, really listening to what i say, and give advices when i needed it the most... thx gals and guys, it really meant a lot to me.

Jadi ngapain aja gue 3 hari ini?

huah.. guess i've been busy these past few days, making out for my boredom last week. For the last 3 days i participate as a student acceptants program being an IT facillitator. The job is to teach the newbies about computers and more about M$ office. Many where used to computers while some haven't even seen a computer before :p It's fun teaching them. I met new people, some cute girls :) nice girls :D and beautiful ones :)) (huehehe, haven't really cared bout the guys though :P) it's nice, i get a few phone numbers and emails from them :P but then again, numbers are only numbers, i didn't give it a go last year so... guess not this year too, don't know why.. just can't get that friendly with strangers :P

23 Agustus 2004

ok, jadi ngapain aja gue 3 hari kmaren? hari pertama rusuh abis de, soalnya harus ngejemput anak2 barunya di balairung dan tolong ya itu koordinasinya ble'e banget... mereka kebanyakan gak dapet informasi yang lengkap tentang tempat mereka dan jam mereka jadinya kebingungan sendiri. It's like 2 hours before we can get them (well at least most of 'em). Jadi jadwalnya mundur 1 jam sedangkan bahannya masih sama :

Materi Utama : Pengenalan Komputer, OS, windoze, office

Materi Lanjutan : JUITA (jaringan UI terpadu), internet, linux, dsb

gila! gimana caranya gue ngajarin itu semua dalam 2 jam!!! dodol tu yang bikin program... buat word sendiri aja bisa perlu les 2x10 jam kali biar bisa dasarnya. Duh, jadinya paling cuman bahas yang dasar2 banget... dul... dan lebih bete lagi, mereka blon dikasih login buat internet! dan gue harus ngajarin mereka dengan bahan2 yang ada di internet... God... gue udah bete duluan jadinya kebawa2 bete de ngajarnya... that is if what i do could be phrase as teaching. Akhirnya gue kasih password gue buat dipake internet trus gue biarin ngeweb aja de.. suruh mereka baca sendiri bahannya. Cape gue... balik2 jam 5 langsung tidur sampe jam 10, makan trus tidur cepet, jam 2an mungkin biar bisa bangun pagi...

24 Agustus 2004

hari kedua udah lumayan lah, cuman dodolnya banyak yang nyasar ke teknik soalnya ada orang sotoy yang bilang kalo ITTC tu di teknik.. duh, siapa si orang sotoy itu, bikin cape gue aja kan jadinya harus ada yang jemput ke teknik buat nganterin mereka ke perpus pusat.. dul...

25 Agustus 2004

masih ada yang nyasar ke teknik... tapi hari ini bodo amat, males banget ngejemput lagi :P trus lucunya i met this girl that looks exactly like one of my ex -no, not my last- gf. Gila dari mukanya, gayanya, lemotnya (hehehe, if your reading this... maap :P) kinda brings back old memory... dan dihari yang sama tu ex-of-mine nelpon bilang dia bakal diwisuda tanggal 18 ntar, what a coincidence.. we talked for a while but i'm kinda drowsy so i didn't pay much of attention (sori). well, i'll c u next saturday then :)

Beck

been reading beck lately and it's such a great comic! believe me. i don't like the style and pics at first but the story really has all the tension and conflicts that is inordinary, so to say. Lumayan lah buat penyegaran, gue baru ngambil sampe volume 18 dari kampus dan baru baca sampe vol 3 kali ya... i'm reading it while posting this rambling bambling :P The story's about a nerd that's bullied all the time in his journey of becoming a vocalist in a band called beck. maybe it reminds me of myself so it's kinda catchy :P back then i was a nerd wanting to become a drummer... dan tidak, tak pernah terwujudkan :(

a word of phrase

i never liked u, coz i already love u when we first met... :P

sakit...

2004-08-23T17:37:00.000-07:00

sometimes.. i miss u so bad
that it's breaking my heart in two
sometimes.. i hate u so much
that it hurts me to love u
and sometimes.. i need u too much
that i care about no one, but you

everyone's forgotten..
even myself is left behind
leaving no one but you,
standing there in front of my heart..

it hurts me not to see you
but it hurts me more to see you there...
without me by your side

so what?

2004-08-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

Fall to pieces - avril

I looked away,
Then I looked back at you.
You tried to say,
The things that you can't undo.

If I had my way
I'd never get over you.
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through.

Make it through the fall,
Make it through it all.

[chorus]
And I don't wanna fall to pieces,
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it,
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it,
coz I'm in love with you.

You're the only one,
I'd be with 'til the end.
When I come undone,
You bring me back again.
Back under the stars,
Back into your arms.

[chorus]

Wanna know who you are,
Wanna know where to start,
I wanna know what this means.
Wanna know how you feel,
Wanna know what is real,
I wanna know everything,
Everything.

[chorus]

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it,
And I don't want a conversation,
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it,

Coz I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you.
Coz I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you.

---
hehehe lagi gue banget tu lagu :P begitu denger langsung jleb...

yet another wasted idealistic
what? the newbies are already coming? o i'm really getting old now do i :( the class of 2004 has arrived... when i was a freshman, gue terima semua perploncoan dan segala tetek bengeknya, I don't really care about it coz i know it'll be over anyway.. i know that they're faking it and so tak ada dendam sama sekali... i don't wanna change it. coz i know in the future i'll be in their position enjoying myself as a senior... many of my friends mumble with their idealistic of a new way of going it. no violence, nothing physical... but then again they did it anyway when they're seniors... such a good idealistic wasted

when i was in the commitee 2 years ago, Gue jadi tibum (ketertiban umum), don't know why -just felt like it.. they (the commitee) wanna change the system but what they gain is a fight with the older seniors, or maybe i should just call them elders. Itu hampir merusak silahturahmi antar mereka (ato sudah ya..) and i really don't want that to happen... it happen coz the changes are somewhat undone, not well-prepared, unsocialized and in the end. It doesn't really go as plan.. it failed... the juniors? some want to change the system and some don't... it happens every year, and now is their year. so enjoy...

Last year, gue jadi mentor.. suatu jabatan yang diadopsi dari tahun sebelumnya dimana mentor adalah seseorang yang membimbing dan menjadi teman for the newbies. it's fun and i don't have to have 2 faces in front of them.. but the system didn't change to much...

Sekarang? gue menjadi penonton sajah :) melihat bagaimana junior2 gue yang dulu membela2kan hak mereka saat menjadi newbies dan menolak semua perlakuan yang diberikan pada mereka itu melakukan hal yang sama ama yang senior mereka lakukan 2 tahun lalu.. where's the idealistic when you're a newbies eh? lost it i guess.. history repeats itself all over again. i dunno, it's just the start and it's still the same... maybe it'll be different, maybe not... what i know is that they don't have a smile for them and by then.. i think i can tell what'll happen afterwards...

that stupid banner
at last! somebody told me how to get rid of the stupid banner... but then again, i don't really wanna lose it. kinda like disrespecting and making a granted of the services that was given to us. if i were in their spot i really don't want that to happen coz it's kinda like ruining their system or sumthin.. dunno, just don't feel like it. They gave me a free blog so all i can favor them is... well, by letting that stupid banner sitting up there :P

a word of phrase
we often did sumthin willingly while knowing how stupid or how wrong that is and regret it after... and still did it anyway

~lagiBosenBeteMalesNgapa2inGakAdaKerjaanSebalKeselDan...BT!!!

not so busy after all...

2004-08-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

Guess what? gue nganggur ni!! hmph.. i thought with so
many projects on the line, i would've been busy like
hell but whaddayaknow, i still have that many leisure
in my days. well the projects are on planning phase so
i have to wait for the upper board to make up the
decisions, rahmat haven't call me regarding 3 projects
he bestow me, another project with bayu 97 is still in
hibernation 'till next monday, the back-end financial
thingie that adhe gave me hadn't had an upcoming till
know and Reza? haven't made a success in calling her
manager this week.. again, susah deh artis, sibuk
banget kayaknya. So.. i'm bored... still waiting the
money from 2 design projects from rahmat and the
library thingie from fajar though :), but then again i
still don't know when will i get it :(

dan dikampus
trus tadi ke kampus buat briefing fasilitator pdpt,
dan seperti tahun lalu.. berkesan kurang siap banget.
jadwal masih berubah till the last minute, bahan baru
dikasih tahu tadi (Dan senin gue udah harus bisa dan
ngajarin). Gue gak tau de servernya buat pdpt nambah
ato enggak soalnya tahun lalu kerjaan gue cuman ngasi
tau ma semua orang kalo servernya down trus ya refresh
aja and hope you would be lucky :P itu karena 900
orang mengakses server tersebut secara bersamaan dan
sekarang ada 3000 orang... let's just hope it's better
than last year, don't wanna be pessimistic right know.
but then again, whatever happens i still get paid :D

Oy! kebuka dong!
ok...waiting...waiting..waiting, why can't i log in to
blogger.com from here? gila nungguin masuknya lama
banget dah.. mungkin kayak kmaren aja kali ya jam
5an.. gue baru bisa masuk jam 4 pagi kmaren. jadi
males gue ngedit2 halaman.. ini aja mosting lewat
email :D mungkin konspirasi besar2an antara matrix dan
blogger.com kah? we'll never know, huahahahahaha :P
(freak mode off...)

untuk ke 5 kalinya.. jatuh
i forgot to mention this here but yesterday my beloved
cellphone got whack in the joystick :( gue bingung de,
kok bisa gitu, jadinya selama 2 hari hape gue gak bisa
pencet atas ma kiri.. sedihnya T_T padahal sebelumnya
gak papa, cuman gara2 dipegang bentar ma miss jutek
trus jadi gitu, gak tau de diapaain ma tu orang,
mungkin dia gak nyadar akan kekuatannya sendiri kali
ye :p trus pas kebanting hari ini jadi bener lagi
joysticknya :)) padahal tadinya mo gue tuker aja
sekalian (masih garansi ini) tapi ya, udah bener si...
jadinya gak jadi de :P

she's not here
haven't seen here for a day!!! and I FEEL FINE! trus
knapa gitu biasanya juga gitoe :P well i don't know,
gue mikirnya kmaren2 selama 3 mingguan gak ketemu juga
gue gak masalah banget gitu lo, but when i saw her
face the other days, kangennya itu lo memuncak
banget.. it's like a slo mo moments, i'm walking
towards the second floor and she's just walking below,
chatting with her friends.. gosh i nearly hit a
friend, and i thought that those feelings would never
came back.. the pain of not to *see* and really chat
with her is killing me slowly... i can't bear the
pain, yet i can't bear to see other people get hurt
coz of me, so... guess i'll be bearing this forever...
or not :P

~case closed?

hidup yang indah

2004-08-19T02:23:00.000-07:00

hidup yang indah adalah hidup dimana 1 hari adalah 48 jam dan dan 1 minggu adalah 14 hari. dimana kita akan bekerja selama 60 jam sehari dan 20 hari seminggu dan tidak adanya hari libur sehingga kita akan selalu mempunyai sesuatu untuk dikerjakan. Tidak lupa bahwa hidup yang indah harus dilengkapi dengan 20 ato lebih bos yang tidak pernah menetapkan pikirannya dan juga tidak pernah sependapat satu sama lain, tentu saja tidak tidak akan indah tanpa gaji yang rendah dan deadline2 yang tidak masuk akal. begitu juga dengan pekerjaan yang dokumennya 4 kali lipat meja kerja sehingga anda tidak bisa melihat apa2 kecuali dokumen kerja tersebut, kantor adalah tempat tinggal anda, tempat hidup anda, tempat gaul anda dan disitu jugalah tempat anda mati.. uang yang anda hasilkan 99% lari ke tangan orang lain yang menyuruh anda dan tidak ada sesuatupun yang bisa anda lakukan.. anda diam, terpaku, termenung dan menyadari... betapa indahnya dunia seperti itu... sighhh*

*tidak mengacu pada institusi apapun dalam dunia manapun! it's just a phrase

STOP IT!!!
she was right there!!! she was right in front of me and i can't even dare to get close to her.. i can never be myself in front of her and it makes me SICK! i can't go on like this, this has to stop. this is why a hate love... love sucks... and there's nothin i can do about it :(

And so i froze...

2004-08-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

why is it when i'm standing in front of Coca-cola's board directors i still can make a great presentation with words coming out of my mouth so fluently and understandable when presentating my design, and why does my heart still in so-so mood when presenting my paper at Fasilkom's Outstanding Students Election, and why does my brains thinks harder than ever when facing a devastating clients waiting to get me down to my knee and make me work underpaid and overwork, and why am i still calm while closing a a big deal worth of transaction but why?

why can't my mouth cooperate in front of her, why does my ear tingles when i hear her voice and why does my heart beats so fast when she's around, even when around means on the 3rd floor while i'm in the basement. why does my body flows in calmness in moments of her company, even if company means being in the same room and not talking to each other... knapa ya kira?

i can't really work in my office this afternoon... my mind's full of her and my one-hour-supposed-to-be job turns to be a 3-hours-job. hmph... haven't felt like this in a loooonggg time. Parahnya lagi, i still got about 7-8 projects to go and all i can think of is her. i still don't get it, What is it that makes me feel like this to her. i know she's beautiful, unique, mysterious, saleh... ok, i'm starting to understand.. no no no dia tu bawaannya jutek mulu, jalannya bungkuk lah, galak banget kalo marah, cemas mulu, curigaan, gak percayaan ma orang, rahasia2an banget, hard-to-get, banyak maunya... but then again there's a saying :

we like someone for their plusses but love someone for their minuses

gak tau de itu bener ato enggak, tapi me? in love? o come on, masa si? enggak lah, gue gitu lo :( in doubt my heart i still, and doubt is what stands in my way.. never felt love the way i fell in love right now, and maybe never will be if i let go of this one... forever...

Bismillah

ya Allah SWT semisalkan dia jodohku maka dekatkanlah aku dengannya, berilah petunjuk bahwa ini adalah jalan yang benar dan jika dia bukan jodohku maka ilfilkan lah perasaanku padanya dan sungguh aku bersyukur padaMu. sesungguhnya jalan-Mu adalah jalan yang benar.

Wassalam

~amien

Eh iya, thx berat buat synthia for wrapping-up the gift for me, thx a lot girl! i owe you one :D sampe dibikinin kotak sendiri gitu, niat banget deh pokoke :D thx lagi de!

MERDEKA!!!

2004-08-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

17 agustus tahun empat lima
itulah hari kemerdekaan kita
hari merdeka, nusa dan bangsa
hari lahirnya bangsa indonesia, MERDEKA!!!

sekali merdeka tetap merdeka!
selama hayat masih dikandung badan
kita tetap, setia, tetap, sedia
mempertahankan indonesia
kita tetap, setia, tetap, sedia
membela negara kita!!! :D

huahem.. udah siang ternyata :P padahal gue baru bangun :D dan hari ini hari kemerdekaan!! yah gak ada yang spesial dari itu si, gue seneng aja bisa libur dari kantor :P duh, masih mikir juga ni kalo bikin kartu nama sekarang dan masih blm punya website, blog... masih kurang banget kayaknya eksistensi di internet. jadi rencananya mundur dulu deh, trus selama liburan ini (emang gue libur ya? malah lebih sibuk kayaknya :P) pengen beres2 bikin blog dulu, trus portfolio website, baru de kartu nama :D ngedesainnya si bukan masalah. yang gue males tu administrasinya... gue paling males berurusan ma bank. jadinya selama ini yang ngurusin ya ehm.. nyokap gue (don't u laugh!). yang masukin, transfer, dan lain2 ya dia. jadinya gue selama ini gak pernah urusan ma bank sendirian. And that makes me a lazy person to start :( gak pengen gini mulu si, tapi yah... entar deh, pokoknya sekarang desain yang bagus dulu baik blog maupun portfolio page (estimasi gue si 3-4 minggu, gue gak mau buru2.. ntar jadinya jelek :P).

And The Work Goes on
baru nyelesain 2 desain (biro umum DKI ama sby-center) tadi pagi dan udah diambil dan abis ini masih ada 2 proyek desain web dari rahmat (biro hukum ma biro keuangan DKI). 1 proyek web-based back-end tentang sistem keuangan hosting dari adh3, 1 proyek CD Interaktif (yang sampe sekarang masih blm jelas), proyek video editing kayaknya gak ada yang jadi baik yang dari kampus atopun yang dari anak fisip bernama oxygentri (padahal gw pengen banget :( ) dan 1 tugas kuliah yang lebih gak jelas lagi bernama Sistem Informasi Akuntansi... duh tu dosen, knapa gak diilangin aja si tugasnya trus semua orang dapet a :D hehehe, i wish...

bagi yang blm tau, rahmat tu seseorang dari perusahaan bernama Samudra Informindo Perkasa. Perusahaannya anak Fasilkom angkatan 95 gitu de, gue pernah kerja disana dan pernah beberap kali dapet proyek dari situ :) biasanya si dikasih proyek sama arab, fajar ato rahmat.. dan semua proyeknya mempunyai ciri2 yang sama : imposibble deadline, overtime work, and underpaid.. Tapi itu semua udah lambat laun makin berubah kok, rate gue naek walaupun agak lambat :D

eh iya kado!
waduh, hampir lupa gue... ada 2 kado nih yang blm dikasih, dan gue gak tau mo ngasihnya kapan, kalo buat pitsum si -yang udah telat banget :P- paling pas masuk ato pas ngiri IRS. kalo buat miss jutek ni gue gak tau de. katanya si rabu/kamis dateng jadinya ya, besok berarti. Dan gue blm ngebungkus kadonya :P i'm not that good at wrapping jadi bawaannya males... yah, mudah2an besok dia suka de. Gak tahan gue kalo dia tambah jutek lagi, it's already more than enough! but then again, kalo dia gak gitu ya blm tentu gue tertarik ma dia :P

Sudah siapkan untuk membuat kartu nama?

2004-08-16T09:40:00.000-07:00

and so i lost...
hoahem.. yah sudah berganti hari :P jadi ceritanya past tenses dong :D hehehe, enggak.. kmaren tu iseng2 ke kampus buat maen ping-pong, cuman berakhir mengesalkan banget. gue sebel banget dikalahin ma anak 2003 :( ya emang gue udah lama banget si gak maen dan bolanya kecil gitu jadinya gue gak biasa tapi tetep aja!! :( yang paling bikin kecewa adalah gara2 gue napsu banget bet gue ngantem meja ampe robek T_T gila tu bet mahal banget.. karetnya aja 160rb, kesel banget deh gue.. gak papa de. itu untuk mengingatkan lagi kalo gue pernah kalah (ma junior lagi) dan kurang latian. anggap aja sebagai tanda pemicu :D

so What?
enough about ping-pong. kmaren juga cuman keliling2 kampus gak ada kerjaan. jadinya baca blognya ojochan, dari awal :P abis ceritanya lucu si... hidupnya dan ehm, love lifenya dibahas semua gitu de dan gue tau semua orangnya jadinya... HUAHAHAHAHA, lucu aja. jadi mengerti sebagian besar apa yang terjadi tentang dia dan Mr. Fabulous :P trus akhirnya bikin blog sendiri de (ya ini :D) dan sekarang lagi dikosan sedang mengisi blog sehabis ngubah desain (lagi...). duh blm bikin htmlnya juga :( anyway perjalanan (ciee perjalanan :P) ke kampus berhikmah juga, ketemu ma adhe trus ngobrol bentar dan (seperti biasa) ditawarin proyek lagi :D hehehe, trus ya.. ngobrol2 tentang banyak hal yang bikin gue belajar banyak tentang "dunia jembatan" hehehe, ato mungkin lebih gampang nyebutnya dunia makelar jasa :D nice talking to him, bikin nambah banyak pengetahuan... trus disuruh bikin kartu nama ama blog ama website sendiri buat promosi lebih lanjut... langsung gue urusin deh, usul dari bos emang top de :D

Dan dikos
trus balik de ke kos sore2... trus baliknya ma aMel lagi, jodoh banget si gue ma tu orang. kmaren juga kebetulan balik bareng :P sumpah de kebetulan, guenya juga gak nyariin tiba2 dia ada. Trus dikosan ngapain? ya tidur, ngapain lagi. soalnya malemnya harus ngubah desain, ngirim portfolio ma Adh3 yang sampe sekarang ngeattachnya masih blm selesai (matrix oh matrix...) ma mo desain kartu nama si kalo sempet dan kalo gak males :P toh besok gak ada acara apa2. cuman tadi ditelpon lagi kalo rabu harus kekantor buat ngeberesin bug proyek lalu :( ya su, kesana de gue rabu, setelah ngomong ma calon pbimbing SP tentunya. Huff, pengennya si TA, tapi ya mo gmana lagi... rusak sudah idealisme perfeksionis gue >P

The significant other
huehehe, akhirnya sempet ngesms sang significant other gue :P walopun dibalesnya dengan nada jutek dan sinis (as usual...) but well, it's a change. biasanya gak dibales soalnya T_T. trus pengen nelpon si, cuman gak diangkat, kayaknya lagi sibuk ngapain gitu dan gak mau ngasih tau :( so mysterious of her... duh kacau nih, sampe sekarang gue masih gak tau knapa gue suka ma dia. hobi beda, omongan beda, tempat gaul beda... really, beneran gak ngerti gue... mungkin karena dia.. ya dia :D

Song of the Day : Ungu - Karena Dia Kamu

an unwanted sms

2004-08-16T01:25:00.000-07:00

ARRRRRRRRGHHHH!!! ini udah yang ke 6 kalinya!!! sialan banget si agen gue. sumpah de bikin stress banget. i'm a perfectionist, but of my own work dan dia tuh kerjanya ngerusakin idealisme gue aja!!! bagi yang belum tau (emang ada yang tau?) i've been workin on a campaign site for one of the future president (hayo siapa...), belum tembus si tapi mudah2an deh (i really need the money) gila deh, udah 6 desain dan masih dikilik juga... masih kurang ini lah, masih kurang itu lah. biasanya aja gue cuman ganti desain 2 ato 3 kali, ini sampe 6 kali (gue charge lebih nih, harus!)... bt... bikin satu desain aja mikirnya setengah idup, ini minta 6, 6!!!! for one lousy site... indah banget dah hidup...

trus yang malesnya gue dihubungi ma bapak itu dengan sms irit kurang dari 10 kata... trus gue jelasin panjang lebar sampe 2 sms panjangnya maximal! dan dibales dengan 4 kata... yang tentu saja tidak setuju dengan sms gue yang puanjang itu dan tetep dengan idenya! this sucks...

cape gue kerja buat dia... but then again, i needed the money...

a new blog has come

2004-08-15T23:48:00.000-07:00

weleh2, sumpah de bikin ni blog pake koneksi matrix tu lemotttttttt banget... hampir putus asa gini gue. ya udah, gue bikin dikampus aja :P semoga ngepostnya gak bakal selama itu :( ini blog pertama gue lho... yah technically si enggak. ada juga si di http://cynical.tk cuman gue males banget ngupdatenya soalnya sering banget putus dari dunia luar :( susah de kalo pake server kampus. jadi daripada marah2 gara2 data2 ilang ato gak bisa dilihat ma orang2 pada saat2 yang dibutuhkan. ya udah, bikin baru aja lagi :P well abis ini mo bikin2 template ah biar bagus :D hehehe oh iya.. trus rencananya mo bikin blog baru lagi si bareng temen gue cuman yang beda gitu. masih gak tau si mo bedanya dimana :D (cuman pengen doang kayaknya :P) but she'll figure it out. tapi kayaknya web hostnya bayar nih... yah liat aja de nanti. kalo jadi ya syukur. kalo gak ya... sudah :D

dan sekarang gue dikampus, dimana sepi sekali ya kampusku ini... cuman ada 3 orang di lab (makanya internetnya cepet banget :D sayangnya lagi gak pengen donlot apa2). jadi mikir2 juga ni ama matrix yang gue beli... buat YMan aja lambreta banget, sumpah de males :( tapi ya.. you get what u pay for. mo gmana lagi :D

now now, does anyone know how to get rid of the stupid banner? bukannya merendahkan cuman ya.. males aja :P